When Worlds Collide
by Devil'sEyeAlchemist13
Summary: A combination of Truth or Dare with the casts of Bleach and Fullmetal Alchemist or Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. Join Kaede, Rin, Tyco, Elmo and myself for dare fun!
1. The New Host The New Format The New Cast

"I don't believe this!" A girl with long brown hair and chocolate eyes said as she looked disgustedly at her desktop computer. "Both of them got deleted! AGAIN!"

"Don't you think you're overreacting just a little bit, Creator?" Elmo the emo corner asked the girl. "I mean, Kaede, Tyco and Rin didn't take it that badly. Why should you?"'

"I overreact because...because...huh. I don't know why. I JUST DO, OKAY?! Devil'sEyeAlchemist13 is good at overreacting, so she'll stick with it."

"Are you referring to yourself in third person?" Elmo questioned.

"No, its 31st person, dumbass!" A girl with blue hair and red eyes said, looking up from her _Time _magazine.

"I'm pretty sure it's third." Said a girl with white hair and violet eyes, continuing to read Bleach manga.

"I think Rin's right." A boy with short curly brown hair and brown eyes said.

"Shut it Tyco." Kaede said, setting down her _Time._ "Creator is right. It's 31st person, period.

"What are we gonna do though 'bout the T or D's?" Tyco asked DEA13.

"Simple. We put it in story format and do a crossover Bleach/FMA(B) one. This time, I'll be joining in. So the crew is Kaede, Rin, Tyco, Elmo, DEA13 and the casts of Bleach and Fullmetal Alchemist/Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. And there will be NO MARRIAGE!"

"Why not...?" Rin pondered.

"Well, do we want Kaede to be polygamous or not?" Elmo asked her.

"I see the problem," Kaede mentioned. "But the easiest way to solve it is to ditch Roy and stick with Aizen. Better for me to fight fire with fire then to fight illusions and a bitch curl with fire."

"It's a cowlick, Kaede." DEA13 corrected. "The only one here with a bitch curl is Armstrong. And his sparkles."

"Do we have a show or not?" Tyco blurted out, fed up with anticipation and the annoyance of Kaede poking his shoulder.

"Do you guys wanna do a crossover?"

"YES! JUST GET THIS DAMN CHARADE OVER WITH!" They all exclaimed at the author.

"Fine. Tokyo or New York City?"

"I like New York." Elmo said, as he had no hand to raise, being a talking emo corner and all. Tyco raised his hand in agreement. Kaede and Rin raised their hands for Tokyo.

"The anime capital of the world is where an anime crossover show belongs!" They yelled happily.

"Since you guys can't agree, I'll choose. We're doing it in the city of love-"

"NYC?" Kaede asked.

"LA?" Said Tyco.

"Tokyo?" That was Rin.

"Osaka?" And Elmo.

"Paris you idiots! I thought at least Elmo and Kaede would've known!" Creator spat as she pressed a button on her keyboard that transported them to a massive studio outside L'Arc de Triumph. Inside the building there were many halls, each with unmarked rooms, but Creator, Kaede and Rin had maps. They all went to the center of the studio, where the audience, Mary-Sue pit and the casts were seated. On the loudspeaker, the song "Sangeshitsu" was playing.

"You're using Sangeshitsu as the opening?" Tyco asked Creator.

"I didn't choose it; Rin and Elmo did." DEA13 replied as Tyco glared at the lonely emo corner behind the audience.

"It was the only way to get her to shut up about Ichimaru." Elmo said. "I promised her that I'd make sure the backstage crew chose that song if she'd shut up about 'Ichi-chan'. God, sometimes she's annoying as hell..."

"There's a best friend for ya, Elmo." DEA13 replied. "You can put up with their shit all the time and not go insane. Unfortunately, that didn't work with Kaede...sigh." As they all glanced over to Kaede flirting with Aizen and Gin.

"ICHI-CHAN!" Rin sprinted over and hopped on Gin's back as she slapped Kaede into Aizen. "Stay away from Ichi. My precious..." said with a wonderful Gollum impression. "Stick with your meanie idiot with a god complex who lacks common sense."

"That was unexpected and quite rude." Aizen remarked, pulling Kaede's face out of his clothes.

"What's wrong with her?" Alphonse asked his older brother, looking down at him.

"Which one? The author, the Devil or the nuts fangirl?" Edward muttered.

"I see your point, Fullmetal." A smirking Roy Mustang said as he walked over to the brothers' conversation. "But she would leave me for him?!" He pointed over to Aizen, who was lecturing Rin (and unknowingly Gin) about manners. "I don't see her reasoning behind that."

"It's simple." Riza Hawkeye said, handing the Colonel a shot of liquor from Matsumoto, Hisagi and Izuru's sake stand. "He _is_ an attractive man, sir."

"Are you suggesting I'm not, Lieutenant?"

"No, sir. I'm merely saying that she's more interested in Sosuke then she is in you."

"Wha's his name?" Roy asked, confused by his lieutenant's apparent sprout of knowledge.

"Sosuke Aizen." She commented. " I honestly don't believe you'd stand a chance going against him, though."

"We'll see, Hawkeye. We'll see.." he replied as he took a seat, preceding everyone else.

"Welcome to 'When Worlds Collide'! I'm the creator, sometimes known as Creator, Devil'sEyeAlchemist13! You can call me DEA13 or just DEA." DEA said as she made sure everyone took their seats. "These are the other hosts."

"I'm Kaede. Don't fuck with me. You mess with the Devil; you get the horns." Kaede snorted, upset that she got slapped still.

"I'm Rin! I may look fun and friendly, but I'm strong too!"

"The name's Tyco. I'm probably the only one here who isn't insane."

"My name is Elmo; come to me when you have emotional distress. But don't ask me stupid questions."

"Why?" Ichigo asked the corner, who rolled his cartoony eyes.

"You owe me fifty cents." Elmo replied smugly.

"Just give me the money; I'll put it in his paycheck." Tyco said as he accepted Ichigo's change. "We should probably state the jobs."

"Jobs?" Kaede asked. "I never signed up for a job. I signed up to torture people and be hilariously funny and get to use my Flamethrower of Doom more often, since SOMEONE took all my tequila!" She glared at Tyco and DEA, who each held up a bottle.

"No drink for you, says the Beer Nazi." Tyco mocked the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. "I state who the dares are from."

"Kaede provides the music." Elmo reminded her.

"Eh, not as bad as I thought." Kaede remarked.

"I read the dares." DEA13 continued on.

"I provide emotional support." Elmo said proudly. "Hence why I'm the emo corner."

"Try not having it ass backwards." Kaede remarked again.

"And I shove people into the rooms of randomness and other things most people never know that we have!" Rin said.

"Our first dare is from **BrightWings111.**" Tyco said. Also known as Rin.

**...Kaede, I'm sad...**

"Suck it up, ya pansy." Kaede said to Rin in a gentle tone similar to Unohanna's.

**WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHY?"! I JUST LEFT MY BEST FRIENDS WHO LIVE ALL OVER THE WORLD AND I WONT SEE THEM AGAIN FOR ANOTHER YEAR! AND ONE OF THEM WASNT EVEN THERE! AND I HAVENT SEEN HER FOR TWO YEARS BECAUSE I WASNT THERE LAST YEAR!**

**AND EVERYONE I STARTED WITH GOT CALLED UP FOR A 5 YEAR AWARD BUT I DIDN'T BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I COULDNT EVEN CONTROL! I CRIED SO MUCH! IT WOULD BE JUST AS IF YOU HAD TO WATCH EVERYONE YOU KNEW GRADUATE WHILE YOU GOT HELD BACK!  
**

Everyone sat in silence at the rant and just glanced at each other, each glance saying "What the hell was that about?"

**...sorry, I'm ranting again... *sniffle* it's just... next year I'll be up**

**there for the 5 years with people I don't even know and not the people I**

**started with... *sniffle***

"I don't know what to say about that, since I've never had that problem..."

**Ichi-chan, please sing something for me *sniffle***

"How was I expecting that?" DEA thought out loud. "Kaede, go through the tracks and find False Pretense by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus." Kaede went over to the tracks and started playing 'False Pretense' as Gin sang along. Rin stopped crying and reverted back to her normal happy self.

"Next up is **DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympian s**." Tyco read off the card that was given to him. Doc burst in the door with a big smile plastered all over her face.

**HELLO CRAZY PEOPLES OF THE (Bleach) WORLD! TIS I! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL DOC! NOW, YOU SHALL SUCCUMB TO MY WISHES AND COMMANDS OR ELSE THOU SHALT BE THROWN INTO THE PIT OF FIRE BREATHING MARY SUES!**

"How many more idiots are coming?" Rukia asked.

"Don't ask." Byakuya and Renji advised her.

**1. I don't know a lot about you guys except for what DEA13 tells me, so I'm**

**just going to explain who Elmo is. No, he's not the puppet from Sesame Street. Elmo is the emo corner who charges you 50 for a stupid question. I blame myself.**

"You should; it IS your fault." Elmo rubbed the lemon juice in the cuts.

**2. I don't know, but I brought this awesome gun that turns people into ponies.**

**So... *starts firing at random people* PONIESSSSS! **

From Doc's craziness, Ichigo, Izuru, Komamura, Yachiru, Nanao, Mayuri, Isane, Grimmjow, Szayel, Aaronierro, Kaien, Yuzu and Tesla turned into ponies. Each their respective hair color ponies.

Kaede laughed at Aaronierro, who was a blob of goo. "You're indecisive."

**Kai: Sorry, that's my crazy sister... She had a couple pixie sticks before we**

**came... Anyway, Coyote Starrk, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SLEEP ALL THE TME?! **

"Zzzz..." Starrk was still asleep in the corner in a sleeping bag.

"Lilynette, go wake 'em up." Tyco said, unaware of her methods. Lilynette grabbed an encyclopedia from the bookshelf and smacked Starrk in the face several times, finally waking him up.

"O! What's up?" Starrk asked.

"Doc and Kai want to know why you nap all the time." Lilynette said.

"Oh. I'm always tired...zzz" And Coyote fell back asleep again.

**Ulquiorra, your methods are cruel. Effective, but cruel.**

"Trash..." Ulquiorra muttered.

**Nnoritora, has anyone told you that you look creepy? **

"I think we can all agree on that." Aizen said.

"I'm not creepy!" Nnoritora exclaimed.

"A spoon? Was something somewhat usable already taken? Like, a knife?" Kaede retorted. Everyone laughed at Nnoritora, who went over to the emo corner.

"Well, maybe he uses the spoon to eat." Elmo said, not at all helping Nnoritora.

**Gin, You have a weird accent. **

"I's not an accent, i's a Kyoto dialect." Gin said. "There's a difference; go loo' i' up on Wikipedia."

"It's not weird anyway." Aizen, Kaede and Creator said in unison.

"It's CUTE!" Rin yelled, reverting to her fangirl state for but a moment. "Sorry..." She said as everyone raised an eyebrow at her.

**Aizen, YOU ARE NOT GOD, THE TRUTH IS GOD! **

"YES! FINALLY SOMEONE AGREES!" Truth exclaimed at the top of it's lungs.

"I disagree." Aizen calmly said. But he had waves of anger radiating off of him.

"This is gonna get ugly..." Ed whispered to Winry.

"Yeah, two gods? The only one missing is Father..."

**Laters!**

"That's it?" Winry asked. "Wow, I was expecting dares for us..."

"Don't jinx us Winry!" Al yelled at her.

"Next up is **Texika Ukitake**."

**Texika: Hello again! :D**

"Hi!" Rin said at one of her old friends.

**Texika: I will get to the dares, but first I would like to say...I do not**

**condone torture...sorry.**

"I don't see anything wrong with torture!" Kaede said, cross at Texika's comment.

"She has a right to her opinion." Elmo said, in favor of defending Texika.

"No matter how wrong or stupid it is? Okay then..."

**Texika: I would also like to say something to the unnamed Quincy, the one**

**always following Buckbeard around.**

The unnamed Quincy turned his head to Texika.

**Texika: From now on...You will be known as Snowy! :D**

"WHAT?!"

**Texika: Does that name annoy you?**

"Yes..." Snowy muttered.

**Texika: If so then I have accomplished my mission.**

"That's a mission?" Tyco asked.

"Apparently so." Ichigo said.

***suddenly an 11 foot tall man with icy blue feathers on his torso, a pair of**

**large icy blue wings, and wearing a pair of silver hakamas, as well as a**

**helmet that looks like an ice phoenix appears behind me***

**?: Master, don't you have something to say to Aaroniero?**

**Texika: Oh right, almost forgot...Thank you for reminding me Kaijumaru!**

**Kaijumaru: You're welcome Master.**

**Texika: Hey Aaroniero!**

The top head of Aaronierro said to the other head "Turn into Kaien so we look presentable." The other head agreed and soon Aaronierro once again stole Kaien Shiba's face. "Yes?"

**Texika: I would like to apologize for killing you a while back. For some**

**reason I can't understand I've started liking you, and now I have 7 out 10**

**Espada I can I am a fan of. They are in this order. Starrk, Harribel,**

**Grimmjow, Nnoitra, Ulquiorra, and Aaroniero.**

"I get a few of those." DEA said. "I understand Starrk, Harribel, Grimmy and Aaronierro. Not Ulquiorra and Nnoritora, though. Never have, never will..."

**Texika: I'm also gonna give a list of characters who probably have or were not Happy Birthday when their Birthdays came.**

"Awesome!" Tyco said.

"Gin's is September 10th!" Rin said.

"And Sosuke's is May 29th!" Kaede chided. Gin and Aizen both gave them weird looks.

"Kurotsuchi's is March 30th." DEA13 said. Everyone stared at her like she was nuts. "What?"

"Why memorize that?" Mayuri asked her.

"Do I look like Aizen or Truth to you?"

**Texika: So Happy Birthday to...Hiyori Sarugaki, Isane Kotetsu, Charlotte**

**Chuhlhourne, Shūhei Hisagi, & Kazeshini!**

"Go Shuuhei!" Rin exclaimed.

"Yeah, Kazeshini.." Tyco said.

"Thank you!" The people who had a birthday said to Texika.

**Texika: Now on to the dares! I dare the Vandenreich, except Snowy, and**

**As Nodt, to go jump in a volcano!  
**

And into Mount St. Helens they jumped... with Snowy and As Nodt standing on the sidelines.

"Unfortunately this dare got cut off." Tyco said. "Next with FMA dares is **Sushi Hawkeye!"**

**Rai: The Devil Incarnate has chosen to do something good for the world?**

**Sushi: Alright, what's the catch?**

"That has been cancelled..." Kaede said. "Which works to my advantage."

**Rai: Okay...dares. Because it's midnight on Saturday. Yay.**

**Sushi: I want Selim/Pride and my personal shoakuma to let everyone boss them around. That means they both are everyone's servants, me included.**

**Rai: and I included too. Next dare!  
**

Pride moped at the demand. Rai frowned a little.

**Sushi: Hm...Truth, if I we would cross the Gate, what would you take from us**

**if Rai cherishes listening to music...**

**Rai: ...and Sushi likes to sing?**

Truth grinned a Gin smile. "Sushi would lose her voice and become mute like Rose Thomas. Rai would lose ears."

"No stealin' my smile." Gin said, frowning.

**Sushi: Then I'm not gonna do human transmutation then. Maybe. If this shoakuma doesn't drive me insane...**

**Rai: *smacks Sushi upside the head***

**Sushi: Alright, geez. I won't. Next dare then.**

**Rai: That's it for now, actually.**

**Sushi: really? Oh well, maybe more next time.**

**Sushi and Rai: *to Selim/Pride and my personal shoakuma* Go humiliate**

**yourselves or do something stupid. Or annoy Kaede or anyone so that they'll**

**kill you. *to everyone else* Bye!**

Selim and Rai decided to annoy Kaede. Kaede burnt Selim to a crispy charcoal for the barbecuing of Rai. "Medium rare or well done?" She asked Creator.

"Medium rare." And soon enough DEA13 had a steak dinner.

"Next is **ChibiNeko313."**

**I have only one dare. Everyone -and yes, EVERYONE. That included hosts,**

**co-hosts, characters, reviewers, walls, etc.- must sing 'Long Live' by Taylor**

**Swift. I don't particularly like her, but somehow, this song seems to fit this**

**fic. Then I would like to sing 'Fences' by Paramore.  
**

(You get the point, the song.)

**Rogue: I WANNA SING!**

**You never wanna sing!**

**Rogue: NOW I DO!**

**Hey guess what!**

**Rogue: What?**

**Shut up! Wow, they really do always fall for it!**

**Rogue: Wtf?**

**You don't get to sing.**

**EL: Can... C-can I sing?**

**Sure! And might I just say: WOW you are SUCH an uke.**

**EL: Okay. Whatever that is. I wanna sing-**

**I'm deciding that for you.**

**EL: Wait, what? No, I wanna si-**

**She'll be singing 'Slow-Paced Chaser' by Luka.**

**Rogue: WHY DOES SHE GET TO SING?**

**Because nobody can refuse a request looking into the eyes of an Innocent Uke.**

**Rogue: ...Whatever.**

***sigh* Fiiine! You can sing... Hm...**

**Rogue: I decide what I sing!**

**No.**

**Rogue: Yes I do!**

**No. *presses button on own remote control* **

**Rogue: WHY AM I IN CHAINS?**

**Now, what shall you sing... Oh! I know! She'll sing 'Go Google It' by Luka and**

**Gakupo. She'll duet with... Roy! But from my fanfiction!**

**Rogue: What difference does it make from the Roy here to the Roy back at our studio?**

**The Roy there isn't married to the Devil Incarnate.**

"Not anymore." Kaede said. "Creator made me get divorces. WHY CAN'T I STAY WITH AIZEN?! I'LL BE GOOD!"

"So I don't matter in this anymore?" Roy asked furiously.

"No, frankly, you don't. I found my soulmate in Aizen! And the best part is that there's irony to God being married to the Devil! BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS! And he's actually somewhat more successful then you! And face it, Roy; he's soo much hotter than you."

"Um... is that...true?" Aizen asked, nervous of the possible outbreak of emotions.

"Yes." DEA replied for Kaede, who was about ready to burn Roy into a million pieces.

"I don't believe this!" Roy yelled.

"Neither do I." Aizen said, walking over to Mustang. "I thought being the pyro she is, she would've gone with you. And think of the military power she could gain."

"You're right." Mustang agreed. "You know, you're not so bad of a guy."

"That's not something I get a lot."

"Yeah, I heard." Mustang gave Aizen a pat on the back. "Take care of my little shoakuma for me." Followed by an "AWW!" by the audience.

"Please let the awkward moment be over..." Rin prayed.

"That was almost crossover yaoi." Kaede said frankly.

"MOVING ON!" The whole crowd minus Kaede, Aizen, Roy, Rin and DEA13 yelled.

**Rogue: ...Oh.**

**That's all. Bye! :D**

"See ya all later!" The hosts said as Kaede ran back to the jukebox and played "Catharsis of Eternity".

FIN OF ONE!

Please review with dares!


	2. Sugar is a Wonderful Weapon

In a France studio filled with halls upon halls and rooms upon rooms...

"This is When Worlds Collide!" DEA13 announced as the audience applauded and Sangeshitsu played over the loudspeaker. "We first have a few things to say! Number one..."

"RoyxAizen last time?" Kaede raised an eyebrow.

"No, I was simply wishing him luck!" Mustang argued.

"The fans think otherwise." Tyco said. "Anyway, I don't condone yaoi."

"Neither do I..." Said Rin, who was in the emo corner due to Kaede forcing her to read GinZuru yaoi.

"I just don't condone the yaoi of my two ex-husbands." Kaede said. "Though that would be pretty cool. You know, I WILL condone that! Go ahead!"

Aizen hung his head in shame. "I would never do that to an individual lower then myself..." he muttered. "Much less a man..."

"It appears someone is reserved then." Elmo mused. Only the hosts knew what he meant.

"You're not serious, are you?" Tyco asked.

"Serious as Sirius Black."

"HARRY POTTER!" Rin exclaimed gleefully.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" DEA13 and Kaede yelled.

"Let's move on before we start a civil war, Tyco." Elmo suggested.

"Highly agreed."

"The next thing is that I HAVE REVIEWS RIGHT OFF THE BAT!" DEA jumped in joy at the sight of reviews on her new laptop. "You guys are awesome; keep up the good work!"

"Spread the word around, the boys are back in town again!" Kaede said.

"Don't quote Thin Lizzy, Kaede, you can't do it."

"You wanna bet?" Kaede smirked as she pulled out a guitar.

"No, I'll skip. I'm broke as it is... stupid host contract... why does a WALL need to be paid?!" Creator complained.

"He's trying to become a real boy." Ichigo said.

"How do you know?" Karin asked her brother, wondering when Isshin Kurosaki was until...

"GOOD MORNING ICHIGO!" Isshin kicked through the ceiling and instead of hitting Ichigo, he hit Hiyori, who thoroughly beat him with a sandal.

"Well, he is a spirit, isn't he?" Ichigo replied.

"No, I'm just a talking corner." Elmo thought for a sec. "You owe me another fifty cents, Kurosaki."

"Damn wall..." Ichigo muttered as he put two quarters next to the red corner.

"Our first review is from **ChibiNeko313!" **Tyco said as the spotlight landed on Chibi.

***suddenly appears in studio. In a Grell costume. With boots propped on the table***

**Heya!**

"Hi!" Everyone said, some cheerier than most.

***wipes year from eye***

**This fic... It's beautiful. And I'm sure it will be so awesome and cracktastic. Well... I guess it already is.**

"Thank you!" DEA said, bowing at the compliment.

**IT WASN'T A QUESTION. I AM IN DEBT TO NO ONE!**

***coughahemcough***

"Uh... I don't believe you owe anyone money." DEA told her as she went to check for any missing money. Which, sadly, there was none.

"Chibi's being secretive..." Rin whispered to Kaede.

"I think Rogue might go after her." Kaede whispered back.

**Anyways. Dares. Hm...**

**Ed- I own you. You are my personal butler now. Here. This is your uniform. *hands tight leather pants, neko ears, tail, and a collar***

"Where's the shirt?" Ed asked, shuffling through the clothes frantically.

"Ooh, another fangirl, Edward." Tyco said.

"Shit..."**  
**

**Roy- Here. *hands bottle of 'tequila'* Whaaat? No! This is definitely not the-**

**Oh right it's already finished. Well. *pushes Roy in direction of Aizen* You. Aizen. Sexy yaoi time. Make it happen.**

"What is WRONG with you people?!" Roy and Aizen exclaimed.

"Didn't I tell you guys what's wrong with me?" Kaede asked innocently, earning facepalms from the hosts, Roy and Aizen.

"I meant the hosts." Mustang corrected.

"Oh. I was talking about everyone else including the hosts and reviewers." Aizen said.

"DO IT." Kaede said, holding a camera

"Fine. Which room?" They both asked as Rin shoved them in a private room.

*=^.^=*

"Oh my fucking god..." Kaede said as she watched the video. "This is...AMAZING!"

"Someone get Aizen off my back!" Tyco yelled angrily as he looked back to a hung over Aizen on his back. Rin shoved Aizen off of Tyco.

"And get Roy off my bacon!" Creator yelled as Mustang faceplanted in her plate of bacon. Rin picked Roy up and threw him into Aizen, and the both skidded on the floor into a wall.

**DEA13/Rin/Tyco- Film it. Post it. EVERYWHERE. ROIZEN EVERYWHERE.**

"I've already got it on YouTube." Kaede said. "It's on my favorites."

"Pervert..." Olivier muttered.

***gets up, flicks chainsaw, walks to door***

**Whelp. Bye! **

"Bye!" The hosts waved back.

***disappears in cloud of rainbow-colored glittery smoke***

***reappears***

**... I forgot Flying Mint Bunny.**

"That might be a problem, Neko-san." Orihime said as she glanced over to Rukia, who was obsessively hugging Flying Mint Bunny, thinking it was a Chappy.

"CHAPPY!" Rukia said.

"Kuchiki-kun, that's not a Chappy." Orihime told her gently.

"It's not?"

"No, that's a Flying Mint Bunny."

"Oh." Rukia handed the bunny to Chibi. "You're weird; a mint bunny? Do you eat them or something?"

**... DON'T JUDGE ME!**

***runs out door***

"Awkward..." Tyco sung.

"That's an understatement; you owe me ten bucks." Kaede put out a hand, waiting for her cash.

"WHAT?!" Tyco handed over ten dollars. "What's this all about?"

"I'm helping Creator get money. She ordered me to. So every time someone says an understatement, they have to give me ten bucks. Like the stupid questions, but richer and less thought out."

"I'd certainly get richer." Creator said. "Who's next?"

Tyco took a peek at the laptop. "Next up is **BrightWings111**."

**Aizen, Hinamori, Rukia, and Yoruichi must act out the "PunyuPunyu" scene from Rock Musical Bleach the Live Bankai Show Code 001.**

"I remember that!" DEA said. "But I don't know the lines...boo."

"Oh well. She'll tell us next time." Kaede said.

"Or I'll give them to you now." Rin said, quickly writing down the lines.And so they had done the scene eventually. (Go look it up on YouTube)

**...EVERYONE SING "FACE DOWN" BY THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS!**

(If you want the lyrics, don't be lazy and look it up)

**Aizen, kiss Hawkeye.**

"Ahemwhat?" Kaede said, surprised at the flamboyant request. "NO ONE kisses MY ex-husband but me, Roy and Gin, for the sake of juicy yaoi, but STILL!"

"At least you said ex," Rin noted. "And WHAT ABOUT GIN?!"

"I agree." Creator said.

"See? I have a reasonable point."

"I was talking about Kaede's point, Rin. I can't tell you how often I look specifically for AiGin stories."

"What world do I live in?!" Rin got on her knees and shouted to the sky.

"My world." Creator said. "I'm the boss."

"What?! I will change this eventually!" Rin dares at her creator, who raised a finger.

"Dun mess with a New York bitch. End of story." Kaede ran over to the jukebox and played the chorus to 'Welcome to the World' by Kevin Rudolf.

"I guess I could do that..." Riza pondered for a moment. That is, before Aizen started making out with her.

"Dude, I said one! Not a session! GET A ROOM!" Rin pushed Hawkeye and Aizen into a room.

"What next, ladykiller?" Tyco said.

"Ladykiller?"

"Yeah, I think you just killed Kaede." He pointed to Kaede, who was in the emo corner and for some reason not moving.

"I think she's just in shock." Rin commented.

"Anaphylaxis shock more like it. She's not even swearing or plotting revenge!"

"Just move on; I'll make sure she doesn't die." Creator said, shooting a sympathetic glance in Kaede's direction.

**Um, meet Renna.**

**Renna: Hi! *sees Kira as a pony* OH MY GOD IZURU! TURN HIM BACK!**

"He is back!" Tyco said! "The only one who isn't is Aaronierro; he sorta died."

**Rin: ...overprotective older sister**

**Renna: *looks at Gin* ...die**

**Rin: NOOOOOOOOO**

**Renna: *evil grin* yes**

When Kaede heard this, she snapped out of her funk and pulled a ... potato launcher? Out of her trunk of junk. "Sweet potatoes to stone is something I condone!" And she fired the potatoes until Gin suffocated. Poor Ichimaru...

"What was that for?!" Rin yelled at her.

"Renna ordered it, so to the coffin with it!" Kaede rhymed.

"What's up with the rhymes?"

"I rhyme because you pissed me off too far this time."

**Rin: Grimmjow, make out with Yoruichi in front of Renna**

**Renna: NOOOOOOOOO**

**Rin: *evil grin* yes**

**Renna: ... okay, you win**

"Yes, she has won." Kaede said as she aimed the potato launcher at Grimmjow. "Now make out with Shihoin before I shoot this gun."

"I think the cat's outta the bag." Tyco said, smirking.

"Huh? What do you mean, and don't give me that face that says 'Duh!' or I'll wipe you clean!"

"Yoruichi has been cheating on Kisuke with Grimmjow."

"WHAT?! But..."

"It's true..." Yoruichi admitted.

"I'm glad it is!" Grimmjow said before making out with Yoruichi.

"Get a room before I make that be your doom!" Kaede said, shoving Yoruichi and Grimmjow in a room.

"Yoru-chan..." Kisuke whispered, heartbroken at the newfound discovery. Renna ran out the door at the sight.

"I guess she's done...who's the next one?" Kaede asked Tyco.

"Next up is **DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympian s!"**

**HELLO! IM BACK! ANYONE MISS ME?! *cricket chirp* ... Rude...**

"I missed her awesomeness..." DEA13 moped.

"I missed her insanity and stupidity and utter randomness." Kaede said.

"You stopped rhyming."

"I'm over it now. Hawkeye is going to pay for it..."

**Anyway, this time, I'm not in a sugar high, as evident that my brother isn't here. Why you might ask? He's watching Pirates of the Caribbean. **

"Oh..." Tyco said. "Which one? The first one wasn't a good one."

**ELMO! I know I should. That is why I do. **

"And now the subject has closure." Elmo said.

**RUKIA! I'm not an idiot. Just an airhead. **

"There's a difference?" Rukia asked.

"Yes." Replied Renji. "Orihime's an airhead; Ichigo's an idiot."

"Hey!" Orihime and Ichigo complained at Renji.

**ULQUIORRA! You didn't just call my brother trash... I know you didn't. Because if you did, I would throw you down to the Sues. In other words, I DUN LIEK YOU! 1! ONE!**

"But I did. He is, after all. As are you." Ulquiorra replied in monotone.

**ICHIGO! Dude, what's up with your name? Who names their male child 'strawberry'?**

"MY NAME ISN'T STRAWBERRY!" Ichigo nagged at Doc. "It means one who protects!"

"Yeah, yeah whatever." DEA flapped a hand at Ichigo

**WINRY! Yes, you get a dare. I DARE YOU TO KICK ULQUIORRA'S TINY LITTLE ASS!**

"Tiny?" Ulquiorra asked.

"With pleasure..." Winry said as she took out her wrench.

"WAIT!" Rin said, stopping the two. "Indestructible Room 1. NOW." And shoved them into the indestructible room.

**ALPHONSE! See if you can get a hollow to be your friend. It should work. Hopefully...**

Tosen brought out Grand Fisher for the competition. In a matter of seconds, Alphonse was...destroyed. "It seems you can't make friends with a hollow." Tosen remarked.

**AIZEN TRUTH AND FATHER! You get to battle out your God complexes in a battle... TO THE DEATH! Mustang, you may join. Winner gets to live! And they get to use Riza's gun to shoot M&Ms at people. I love doing that.**

"Maybe it would help if someone got them out of their room." Elmo said, eyeballing the room Riza and Sosuke were still in. "You need God #2 and the prize to do this dare."

"No shit, Sherlock." Kaede said to Elmo. "Rin, you're getting them."

"WHAT?!" Rin exclaimed. "Why?!"

"I've already got someone out and so has Tyco. Creator doesn't go in there and Elmo's a wall; he can't move."

"Fine..." Rin muttered as she dragged Riza and Aizen out, who were both surprisingly neat and tidy for being in there for so long.

**RIZA! Let the winner use your M&M filled gun. **

"Okay then." Hawkeye pulled her M&M filled gun out of her trunk of guns and ammunition. "Let the contest begin!"

"I'm not joining." Mustang said. "I don't wanna die."

After hours and hours of debating and a good chunk of fighting, the winner emerged.

"I am the one who truly will stand above the Heavens."

"YEAH AIZEN!" Kaede cheered as she ran over and glomped him. "That's my Sosuke!" She whispered an idea in his ear and gave him a lighter.

"Riza." Aizen said.  
"Yeah?"

"...You suck at kissing." And away molten balls of chocolate and sugar fired at Riza. Eventually, it melted her to death...

"Thank you sweetie." Kaede said, skipping around the puddle that covered Hawkeye's candied body.

"Don't mention it." And Aizen went and sat back down.

**COYOTE AND SLOTH! Have a sleeping contest. Winner may sleep. Loser may sleep. I don't care; I just wanna see who wakes up first.**

They both tied at the contest, as none woke up from their slumber.

"Are they dead?" Lilynette poked a stick at Starrk and then at Sloth.

"Nah, they still have a pulse." Elmo looked at the heart monitor attached to the wall.

**PALM TREE! ... Let all the animals do their business on you.**

"Ooh, Doc lucked out." DEA13 said. "All of the arrancars can take a dump on you. So can Yoruichi."

"SHIT!" Envy yelled. "WHY DO I HAVE TO DO ALL THIS SHIT!"

"You're not." Kaede joked. "A lot of other people are. Just that it's on you."

And soon Envy was a biodegradable bonus to the world.

**EVERYONE ELSE! Dance! *plays Hips Don't Lie by Shakira***

(**Dance** [dans] _v.___**danced, danc-ing, **_n. _ **1.**To move the body and feet rhythmically, usually to music. **2.** _n. _The act of dancing **3. **_n. _A round of dancing: the next _dance_. **4. **_n. _A particular form of dance, as the waltz, polka, etc. **5. **_v. _To perform (a dance): to _dance _the polka. **6. **_n. _A piece of music for dancing. **7. **_n. _A gathering of people for dancing; a ball. **8. **_v. _To move up and down; leap about: _dancing _waves; to _dance_ for joy. **– dance attendance on **To wait upon (another) constantly and eagerly.) –Harcourt Brace, 1968 (It's my mom's dictionary from when she was in school)

**LATER!**

"And last on our agenda is **Maruki Shitoichi!"**

**"Hi, again, Kaede-San, Rin, Tyco, Elmo, aaaand DEA13!" Maru smiles widely. "I've been wondering, when, will you guys would make another of these things! And now, here it is!"**

"Yes, it is here!" The hosts agreed cheerily.

**"By the way, DEA13 and Kaede. Your dare, about me, taking her." Natsumi pointed to Maru. "To a Cajun Festival, it's a DISASTER!"**

"That's how it was intended to be-OW!" Kaede was elbowed in the ribs by Creator.

"Sorry about that Natsumi! It was just supposed to be a reward for being a reviewer here for so long. You get Cajun food too."

**"And sorry for NOT having writing the thing, since, you know, the story got deleted, again. So we're just gonna tell you that anyways." She explained.**

**"Any-ho! It's dare time!" Maru squealed. "For the FMA casts! I just noticed, that, you guys haven't got many dares."**

"We'd like to keep it that way!" Ed yelled, and the FMA/FMAB crowd followed with yeas.

**"Edward! Yo the short Fullmetal alchemist! Miss me?" Maru smirked. "Okay, I get it. Don't you use that short rants of yours on me. The Author just got a plot for a story, about us anyways. But do YOU want me to torture you?" Pulling out a random metal bat out of nowhere.**

"I spoke too soon," Edward told himself. "Hell no..."

**"Good answer my friend!" She pats Ed's back. "Moving on! Do you still dating Hawkeye? Just asking."**

"Since when are you my friend?!" he looked over at Hawkeye's body. "And not anymore thanks to that guy right there." He pointed to Aizen, who was in the middle of the Bleach cast on the other side of the room.

**"If you are, then kiss the person next to you! On the right. If not, confess your love to the person in front of you! I don't care if the person is a she/he/it, just do the dare!"**

The hosts sidestepped out of the way. Edward, having a front row seat, was going to confess his love to a Bleach character he didn't even know.

"Ooh, tough luck Brother. You have to confess your love to Yachiru Kusajishi."

As Edward confessed his 'love' to Yachiru, all she could do was laugh at his miserable failure. "If you weally love me, you'll buy chocwates!"

"That was unexpected." Ed said to himself.

"Where's my candy, Braidy!"

**Natsumi's sweat drops, "well, THAT was unexpected."**

**"Okay, we're out of dares because our brain is all juiced up from thinking about the ToD on PaF. Bye guys! I'll have more tortures for you later, dear Edward!" Maru smirked.**

**"Bye." Nastumi smiled.**

"Someone shoot me now." Ed said. Too bad Hawkeye was already gone...

"I'd love to, but my gun has disappeared. All I have now is a zanpakuto." A shinigami that looked like Riza appeared on the Soul Society side of the Bleach cast.

"I think we'll go now." DEA13 said as "Ichirin no Hana" played on the loudspeakers.

"SAYONARA!" Everyone said to the camera!

FIN CHAPTER TWO

Review...or Aizen will find you and shoot you with the M&M gun. Yes, with the fiery candy.


	3. Being an Overlord is a Hard Job

In the French studio we all know and love...

"GIVE ME MY BROWNIES BACK! IZURU MADE THEM FOR ME!" Rin yelled as she tugged the pan of fresh brownies away from Kaede.

"No, I'm pretty sure they're for me." Kaede argued as Creator and Tyco walked in the room. None of the casts had shown up yet, as it would be a busy day. "He did leave a note that said 'For the awesome host.'" She pulled the brownie pan out of Rin's hands and the pan landed upside down on DEA13's head. "Oops."

"NO BROWNIES FOR YOU!" DEA yelled at them as she got the brownie bits out of her hair. "They are now mine and Tyco's." She held Izuru's handwritten note in her hand. "There was a brownie smudge on the letter. It was SUPPOSED to say 'For the awesome HOSTS' you idiots! Now you ruined your chance of having any! See what fighting gets you?!"

"Slimmer thighs?" Tyco asked.

"I'm not even gonna bother with this anymore..." DEA said, checking the reviews on her laptop. "Elmo, ya all set?"

Elmo opened his eyes and yawned. "Time again? Ok."

The casts walked in and took their seats as Sangeshitsu was playing over the loudspeakers.

"This is 'When Worlds Collide'!" The hosts announced as the song ended.

"Now before we start with dares," Rin said. "Is there anyone here who wants to be an evil overlord?"

Aizen and Father both raised their hands.

"Well, there's a few things you need to know. So," Kaede said, pulling out a very long list. "I'll give you guys my list of things to do when _I _become an evil overlord."

"Who says you will?" Ichigo asked.

"Creator." She replied as DEA waved to the casts before going back to her laptop. "Now, here's your list!"

**My legions of terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.**

**My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.**

**My noble half-brother, whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.**

**Shooting is not too good for my enemies.**

**The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.**

**I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.**

**When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?" My reply will be, "No, just sensible."**

**When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll shoot him, and then say "No".**

**After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.**

**I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push".**

**I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me - I'll do it myself.**

**I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum - a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.**

**I will not build a large and convoluted machine that will slowly lower the hero to his death on a chain into a vat of sharks, piranhas, or any other kind of carnivorous fish.**

**Similarly, I will not dissolve my enemies in a vat of acid and use an icam to show them while they die to the entire world over the internet. Rather, I will use the much more boring, but also surer method of a private firing squad in a secluded and inaccessible spot.**

**I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.**

**I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident: I'm not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it.**

**I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy"; I simply choose not show them any.**

**One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.**

**All slain enemies will be cremated, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.**

**My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to any other dress codes.**

**The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.**

**I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.**

**I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he's caused.**

**I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."**

**When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.**

**I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.**

**I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.**

**Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.**

**I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my legions of terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.**

**No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.**

**I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way - even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless - my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.**

**I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses.**

**Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)**

**No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.**

**If I am engaged in a duel to the death with the hero and I am fortunate enough to knock the weapon out of his hand, I will graciously allow him to retrieve it. This is not from a sense of fair play; rather, he will be so startled and confused that I will easily be able to dispatch him.**

**No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.**

**I will never build only one of anything important. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.**

**If my supreme command center comes under attack, I will immediately flee to safety in my prepared escape pod and direct the defenses from there. I will not wait until the troops break into my inner sanctum to attempt this.**

**My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.**

**Even though I don't really care because I plan on living forever, I will hire engineers who are able to build me a fortress sturdy enough that, if I am slain, it won't tumble to the ground for no good structural reason.**

**I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.**

**All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be pre-emptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.**

**All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.**

**Any and all magic and/or technology that can miraculously resurrect a secondary character who has given up his/her life through self-sacrifice will be outlawed and destroyed.**

**I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.**

**I will see to it that plucky young lads/lasses in strange clothes and with the accent of an outlander shall REGULARLY climb some monument in the main square of my capital and denounce me, claim to know the secret of my power, rally the masses to rebellion, etc. That way, the citizens will be jaded in case the real thing ever comes along.**

**I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code.**

**Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.**

**I will not employ devious schemes that involve the hero's party getting into my inner sanctum before the trap is sprung.**

**I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.**

**I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.**

**I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell.**

**If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.**

**If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.**

**If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.**

**If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.**

**I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.**

**Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.**

**I will offer oracles the choice of working exclusively for me or being executed.**

**When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.**

**I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.**

**I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.**

**I will not rely entirely upon "totally reliable" spells that can be neutralized by relatively inconspicuous talismans.**

**I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.**

**If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?" I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.**

**If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.**

**I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.**

**If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.**

**My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh PowerBooks. I will make the main entrance to my fortress standard-sized. While elaborate 60-foot high double-doors definitely impress the masses, they are hard to close quickly in an emergency.**

**If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.**

**I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.**

**If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!" I will say "Oh well'' and kill her.**

**I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.**

**Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.**

"We're supposed to remember all that?" Aizen asked skeptically.

"I'll email it to you." Tyco suggested, and Aizen nodded in response. "First up is a new friend, **PurpledragoN1997!"**

**OMG! YOU GUYS ARE FREAKIN' HILARIOUS! If only we could meet! I don't have enough crazy people where I guys are my comic relief for the day. Dead serious.**

"I try; it's what gets me higher English scores." DEA said, getting looks from the other hosts. "What, it's true! The quarter after I started, my English grade went up four points!"

Brandi: But you are alive.

Beebee: Shut up, wolf.

Belle: KILL QUINCY! *begins shooting Uryuu with AK-47*

"I like this chick." Kaede said while eating a bucket of popcorn and watching Uryuu's bloody death. "Keep goin' Belle!

Beebee: Dares! Every time I shout out a pairing, said pairings must kiss each other. ON THE LIPS!

1. Ichigo and Rukia!

"Typical." Tyco said as the two quickly kissed.

**2. Grimmjow and Nel!**

"That may be cheating in Shihoin's book." Elmo said as the pair smooched.

**3. Ulquiorra (however you spell his name) and Orihime!**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" DEA13 and Kaede exclaimed. "NOT THE ULQUIHIME!"

"Yes!" Rin cheered. "UlquiHime SURVIVES!"

**4. Toshiro and Karin!**

"More of this?" Kaede said. "I don't even think they actually know each other..."

**5. Gin and Rangiku! (Sorry Rin!)**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rin yelled. "WHY?! WHY?!"

"How ya like them persimmons?" DEA mocked Rin's pain with a Gin pun.

**6. Me and Brian! Teehee!**

Brian: Can this wait, Beebee?

Beebee: Fine. *pouts*

Brandi: I must say that I do enjoy watching poor anime characters get tortured.  
"I agree as long as it's not Aizen." Kaede said, protectively stepping in front of him."

"Or Mayuri." Creator defended Kurotsuchi.

"Or GIN~" Rin cried out, crying anime tears in the emo corner.

"A person shouldn't be able to cry anime tears in real life." Kaede deducted.  
"This is Fanfiction; does it matter?"

**Belle: Hey, Mustang! Wanna drag?! Hahahahahahaha!*continues laughing hysterically at her own (lame) joke***

"You wouldn't know funny if it made you laugh." Tyco retorted at the horrible joke.

Brandi: Belle are you feeling okay?

Beebee: We'd better go. Besides, me and Brian have some kissing to do! Right, Brian?! Brian? Where is he? BRIAN! GET BACK HERE!

Brandi: Alley oop.

"Alley oop!" The hosts replied as the wolf left and Purple went off with Belle to find Brian.

"Beebee is nuts." Elmo stated. "You okay, Rin?"

"Yeah, I'm over it now. How was I chibified; I'm a real person."

"No clue." Tyco said. "Next up is **BrightWings111!"**

**Rin: I'm really starting to get into this pairing... Kaede, you must make your tequila again and give it to Aizen and Hawkeye and leave them alone in a room**

"WHAT?! YOU USE IT FOR THAT?! ARE YOU NUTS!?" Kaede marched right over in front of Rin and looked down with her. "NO WAY!"

"I agree." Creator said, moving her laptop. "Use it for something yummier, like AizenxKisuke. Now THAT'S good shit. Besides, I have the recipe. I would have to do it. And I'm not going to."

**Rin: YES YOU WILL! NOW!**

"You heard Creator."

**Renna: ...crazy... *glares at Yoruichi* I don't like you anymore**

**Rin: ...crazy... Kisuke, take Renna on a date. Preferably a room-**

**Renna: *smacks Rin***

**Rin: ...preferably a carnival?**

**Renna: better**

"Carnival Room it is then!" Rin said as she shoved her OC and Kisuke in the massive room. "You'll like the cotton candy!"

**Rin: ...TOSEN MUST ADMIT THAT HE ISN'T BLIND!**

"But I am! Your actions are unjustified!" Kaname justified.

"Dude, you got 20/20 on your eye test." Elmo said. "You're not blind."

"That's because I memorized the chart in braille! Fine, if it'll do you justice, I can see. Happy?"

**Good. KIMBLEE SING "YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL" BY RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS TO WINRY!**

(Once again, in order to comply with dumbass rules, look it up on your own time.)

**...Ed. Um... Go and... Uh... Eat a pillow?**

"Kaede, get the hot sauce for the pillow."

**Ulquiorra and Orihime must go on a date. ULQUIHIME 4 EVAH!**

**Kenpachi and Unohanna must also go on a date. KENUNO ALSO 4 EVAH!**

**...Mustang and Lust too.**

**Aaand new pairing! GrimmFan! Grimmjow and Lan Fan must go on a date!**

"To the dating rooms you go." Tyco said as Rin shooed everyone in their respective rooms.

"I hope I'm getting overtime pay for this..." Rin muttered.

**Also... Renna can, um, mind control... Just so you're aware. And don't take the clip off of her ear unless you want the studio to be crushed by reiatsu. And don't touch her blue bracelet or she will kill you. I think that's everything...**

**Renna: I'm back! And don't touch my brother, either!**

**Rin: ...*taps Izuru on the shoulder***

**Renna: DIE!**

**Rin: *holds up a picture of Grimmjow and Yoruichi makin out***

**Renna: *in Emo corner* so cruel...**

**Rin: yeah, that's how you deal with that...**

"I will use that...to MY ADVANTAGE!" Kaede said as she quickly wrote down a little note.

"Shit..." Rin said.

"Next up is **DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympian s!"**

**HOLA PEOPLE! Glad to know that I was missed by some people. *glares at everyone who didn't miss me***

"Well, we don't know you, so we can't really miss you..." Ukitake replied.

**Aaaaaaaanyway, **

**TYCO! The movie was "On Stranger Tides." Kai just likes watching it because of a YouTube video I showed him. Now he won't shut up.**

**Kai: FIREWORKS THEN DISNEY CASTLE JERRY BRUCKHEIMER THERES AN ARCHWAY! HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTNOT! JACK WARNS HIS CREW NOT TO KAKE OUT WITH HOT WATER LADIES! DON'T SLAM THE DOOR ON YOUR HOT PIRATE CAPTAIN!**

**Me: SHUT UP!**

"At least he didn't choose "Curse of the Black Pearl"; that one sucked." Tyco replied.

**Aaaaaaaanyway, **

**ULQUIORRA! Now I shall beat the crap out of you. *beats the crap out of Ulquiorra* He should be near dead now. Hopefully... ;)**

"No, I think he's dead." Tyco poked Ulquiorra with Urahara's cane.

"YES!" Kaede whispered to herself.

**STRAWBERRY MAN! Your name means strawberry. Live with it. My name means Protector. In some language that I cannot remember at the moment...**

"NO IT DOESN'T!" Ichigo yelled.

"He's right." Elmo said. "If you write it in the correct kanji, it means 'one word'. There are seven ways to write it."

"See? Wait, what?"

**ALPHONSE! I sorry...**

"It's okay. You didn't know, Doc." Al sympathized.

**PALM TREE! *posts pictures of shit covered-palm tree on the internet* Hah.**

"Dammit!" It cursed as it made its way to the emo corner.

**RUKIA! Why did you steal Ichigo's sister's Pjs? Why not sleep in your clothes?**

"Soul Reaper attire is not meant for sleeping." Rukia replied without missing a beat.

**ORIHIME'S BROTHER THAT IS A HOLLOW! You're a bastard. *throws to the Sues***

The Sues shied away from him before devouring him whole. "You guys should use that." Grimmjow said. "Instead of zanpakutos. This does it a hell of a lot easier than normal."

**EVERYONE! Shall now watch Pirates of the Caribbean with Kai. No ifs and or feathers.**

**GOOOOOOOD-BYYYYYYYYYE!**

Szayel took a lump sum of cash from Kaede and made life sized dolls of the hosts and the rest of the casts. So poor Kai watched the movie in a room full of dolls.

"Next up is **ChibiNeko313!"** Tyco announced, looking disgusted at the doll of himself. "Am I really that fat?"

**Heyo, I'm back! Sorry I left so abruptly last time, I-**

**... *touches face* **

***feels scars***

**I knew I should have slept lighter... Shit, Rogue! You know I can't go to school like this! Fuck school. I'm Chrona-ing over here... :c. I'd better get to the dares before I depress myself...**

"Ooh, not pwetty.." Nel said, pointing to Chibi's face.

**Ed- *huggles* Did you know that for quite a while, you and I were officially the same height?! Heehee, I looked it up ;D.**

"Pipsqueak!" Edward blurted at her.

**Aizen- *pulls France from personal portal* Here, Aizen. This is Francis. Please get along nicely... Or not. I really just want to see how this plays out...**

"You really chose a looker this time..."DEA rolled her eyes. "Can't we get someone like...I don't know, Russia? Maybe Prussia? They're cute!"

"Hello!" France said.

"Greetings." Aizen replied as he put out his hand. France shook it.

"Can you show me to the ladies?"

"Well, I don't think anyone here is into you."

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah, no. Sorry. They're all _mine_." Sosuke said with a smile on his face as France went off running and crying as a chibi. "Creepy man eliminated."

**Roy- TAKE YOUR MAN BACK RIGHT NOW. AIZEN IS YOURS. *begins hypnotizing Roy* You are now a very jealous girlfriend, and Aizen is your boyfriend. Only he doesn't know it. And France is his sister. Only you don't know that. And neither does he.**

"That doesn't work." Roy said. "Military training."

**Now. *holds out arms Titanic-style* Prep me for school in any way you deem appropriate! **

A few hours later, along with three shopping montages and a musical number, Chibi was prepared for everything and ANYTHING High school could throw at her. Plus about 5k worth of new clothes.

***examines self* ... Huh. Cool! **

***nods***

***grabs backpack, Flying Mint Bunny, and box of Pocky***

**BYE EVERYONE, WISH ME LUCK!**

***slams door behind me***

"Good luck at school!" Everyone wished her. Some with more spirit than others...

"That was different." Ichigo said. "We didn't get tortured for once."

"No, I did! I had to look at that man!" Yumichika replied! "It was HORRIBLE!"

"Next up is..." Tyco looked down the list. "**XAka-kitsune-toriX!"**

**Angel and Emily- Hi Kaede.**

"Hi!" Kaede replied.

"We don't get any hellos?" The other hosts asked.

**Aka- AHH the two CHIBIS! *glomps Toshiro and Ed* They're so cute!**

**Emi- Aka stop!**

**Angel- BAD AKA! *whacks Aka with a rolled newspaper* DOWN!**

**Aka- I'M NOT A DAMN DOG YOU IDIOT!**

**Angel- No but you are a fox.**

"Foxes are _Canidae_ _vulpini_, while dogs are _Canus lupus familaris_." Elmo corrected.

**Aka- Whatever. Ed and Toshiro, chibi argument!**

"What the hell's a chibi argument?" Ed asked.

"Do you think I know?" Toshiro replied.

"By the looks I don't believe so."

"What's that supposed to mean, Braidy?"

"You did not just say that!"

"Oh, but I did, Edsqueak."

"Well, it just happens that you chose the right day to style your hair."

"Why is that?"

"Cause that's the only way people' ll know it's you when you get out of that body bag..."

"NO KILLING EACH OTHER!" Momo blocked Toshiro from going any further.

**Emi- What? Anyway, Al, do you still like cats *takes out a cat***

"NEKO-CHAN!" Alphonse took the cat and pranced around with his newfound feline friend.

**Angel- Mustang, *takes out a light blue mini skirt* wear this till the next chapter.**

"I had a feeling that was coming." Mustang said before changing into the skirt. The entire Bleach cast laughed; what guy wore a skirt?

**Aka- Ichigo, I want you to beat up the cross dressing palm tree *points to Envy***

And after about an hour, the studio had very fancy paper and quite a few piña coladas.

**Emi- Ok.**

**Angel- That's all.**

**Aka- Bye!**

"I'm hungry again." Kaede said.

"Next up," Tyco ignored her. "**Sushi Hawkeye!"**

**Sushi and Rai: Hey guys!**

**Sushi: First, Ichigo. Since when did 'strawberry' mean 'one who protects'? And they got a treat named after you at Teriyaki Boy.**

"Lest I go over the name kanji again?" Elmo sighed.

**Rai: Next, why did Kaede flame me?! Never mind, I'm just glad I wasn't actually there the first chapter. even better was that the stupid shoakuma was disguised as me. In essence, you still flamed him.**

**Sushi: stop talking like that, you're giving me a headache.**

"You're not alone..." Kaede rubbed her temples. "Whoever said words don't hurt was deaf. THEY HURT YOUR NOODLE!"

"Who are you and what have you done with the real Kaede?" Roy asked suspiciously.

"Shut up Colonel Useless. Can't you see I have a goddamn migraine?"

"There's your Kaede, Roy." Aizen smirked.

**Rai: Ooh! Nullmetal episode 6 is up.**

**Sushi: I forgot what it was **

(I'm gonna watch it when I'm done with this)

**Rai: Baka. Dares!**

**Sushi: Maru's right, FMA hasn't been getting much attention. Therefore, we'd be happy to provide! :D**

**Rai: Uh...why is Riza on the Bleach side of the studio?**

**Sushi: because Roy was practically dumped by both Kaede and Riza?**

"More like because Sosuke melted her, so she died and became a soul reaper." DEA13 said as she pointed to Riza. "But because of the fabulous remote I kept from Doc, I reset the deaths after every chapter. So Riza is once again on the other side."

**Rai: What are you eating?**

**Sushi: huh. An old Krispy Kreme KitKat donut I found in the fridge, why?**

"I want it; that's why. I'M STARVING! WHY YOU MAKE ME HUNGRY LADY?!" Kaede tried to steal the donut, but tripped over Al's new kitty and instead faceplanted into Gin. "Hey."

"Hiya Kaede! Can ya get outta my lap?"

"No, I think I'll stay here."

**Rai:...nothing. Back to the dares.**

**Sushi: Ed, buy chocolates for **

**Rai: Yachiru, I dare you to-**

**Sushi: I thought we were daring the FMA peeps?**

**Rai: Well, I saw that she gives people crazy nicknames, so...I dare her to give crazy nicknames to the FMA peeps. Well, aside from Ed. Who will now be known as Braidy!**

Yachiru thought with her little kiddy brain for a minute before she walked over to Alphonse. "Iron Kitty!" she squeaked before moving on to Winry. "Wench!" Now Roy. "Sparky!" Then Hawkeye. "Birdbrain!" She turned and walked over to Sushi. "Fishy!" And then to Rai. "That's all I got." Before hopping back on Kenpachi's shoulders.

**Sushi: better. :) And they have to be called that until the end of this chapter. Next. I want to know...what if the people of Bleach can do alchemy and if the people of FMA...had their own zanpakuto?**

"If that were true... then Aizen would be about infinity times more epic." DEA and Kaede said. "And Mustang would be Fuhrer."

**Rai: Cool. I dare Ichigo to eat strawberries.**

**Sushi: What? Why?**

"I already am. That's all we have for food because somebody ate all the brownies Lieutenant Kira baked."

**Rai: Nothing. Just random. Now I dare Envy to turn into a 10 year old human kid that looks like a palm tree.**

**Sushi: ...The cuteness...must...fight...**

**Rai: That's all! Bye! *drags Sushi away***

"I don't think we can do that. Not with 5000 sheets of paper and about 30 piña coladas." Rin said as she slurped her drink. "Who's next?"

"That would be **Maruki Shitoichi." **Tyco said. That is, before a man walked in.

"I am **Mr.J."** The man said. "I am a guest!"

***ahem* Hello my dear cast. I just wanna say 2 dares**

**1. Roy I dare you to Do my paperwork *points at the desk filled with paperwork obviously***

**2. Ichigo, Isn't it a good time to kick Renji's smart ass? If so DO it!**

**That's all. :)**

"More violence?" Ichigo asked. "If I keep doing it, I might actually like this place. But not now. Later, I'm on my peace break."

"You have that?" Karin asked.

"What? You think I go around chopping hollows with a big-ass meat cleaver 24/7?"

"Sigh..." Roy got to work immediately with Hawkeye watching him.

"NOW it's Maru." Tyco said.

**"Thanks for the food, DEA13." Natsumi said. "But, I'm on 'fire diet' right now. Just don't ask why. Or what is it." Natsumi's sweat drops.**

"Okay then..." DEA said, googling 'fire diet'.

**"And I'm just asking, since I don't know any much about Bleach, who's 'Yachiru Kusajishi'?" Maru tilted her head to her right.**

"Use the site I PM'd you." Creator told her after she found a guide to fire dieting. "Kaede, you might like this."

**"And just a statement, Ichigo, your name DOES means 'Strawberry' in English. You're just declining it..." She stuck her tongue out.**

"AGAIN?!" Ichigo yelled before storming away...and falling into the Mary-Sue pit.

"It sucks to be popular." Elmo said.

**"And by the way, WHAT THE HECK IS A CHOCWATE ANYWAY!?"**

"That would be a baby saying "Chocolate", Maru." Elmo replied.

**"Oo..." "Can I have some, preeeeetttttyyyy pleeeaaaaseeee? With sugar and chili on top?" Maru pleaded.**

"You put chili on chocolate?" Orihime asked. "So do I!"

**"No! I'm NOT weird! I'm just random!" She barked. "There's a difference about it!"**

**"Anyways," Natsumi rolled her eyes. "It's dare time!"**

**"Mustang, I felt no pity for you right NOW. Even though Kaede left you for another character in the Bleach fandom, but then she left him. I still felt no pity for you." She stated.**

"Yup!" Kaede agreed. "You should be pitying me instead. I HAD TO LOSE AIZEN! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" And away to the emo corner she went.

**"Right, the dare! Almost forgot about that!" Natsumi laughed weakly.**

**"You may use your fire alchemy to fight, until death, with Aizen. I DON'T hate you guys, we just need 'some' entertainment for now." She pulled out a bag of popcorn out of nowhere, and overs it to Kaede. "Want some?"**

"Yes please..." Kaede said, still moping. She took a handful from the bag. Mustang lost pretty quickly to Aizen, unfortunately.

**"And I have a question for Kaede-San!" Maru raised her hand in the air. "So, if you're not with Mustang AND Aizen, you're with who, exactly?"**

"Why do you ask?"

**"I'm just confused, ya know."**

"I don't know." She looked around the room before getting back up and dusting herself off. "Probably Gin."

**"And this is the last dare, for now, too much thinking to do, sorry." Natsumi apologized.**

**"Everyone, including both of the casts but NOT the hosts, BECAUSE they're AWESOME, stay inside an isolated cabin in the south pole, for twenty weeks. WITHOUT your powers, alchemy, homunculi powers, shinigami powers, etc...etc..., just some sticks, some rocks, and some fishing lines! Good luck!" She smirks.**

**"Bye, everyone! We'll see you soon!" Maru waved her hand. "Bye!"**

As the casts left the room, "Catharsis of Eternity" played on the loudspeaker, barely audible though by all the footsteps and bags.

"Sainara!" The hosts said as they left. After everyone else was gone, one person came back.

"I'm still the awesome host... heheh!" She grabbed a plate of brownies and in a flash of the red like her hair, she was gone...

FIN OF THREE!

You'd better hope Kaede doesn't join Aizen if you don't review. Otherwise you'll be in worse shape than Envy.


	4. I Suffer for Your Pain, Aizen

In the studio in the city of love we all love...

"FUCK MY LIFE~!" DEA exclaimed as she opened up her expense book.

"Creator, you told me that's impossible! YOU LIAR! WHY MUST YOU FEED ME LIES!?" Kaede yelled at her.

"Meh, I'm owing money again."

"Yes, especially bad since we get our paychecks at the end." Rin said.

"Hey, Elmo?" Kaede asked. "Why do you want to be real? If you were, you'd lose your job."

Elmo pondered the thought of losing his job for a moment. "Okay, I'll pass then."

"Good!" DEA13 said. "I'm dropping your rate then."

"Anyone seen Tyco?" Rin asked.

"Nope."

Suddenly, a gigantic car filled with money arrived outside. "We're here!" The man said, stepping out of the car. "Tha'll teach 'er we're on th' dark side..."

"Does it matter? We just fetched our own paychecks!" The lady who stepped out with him said.

"Gin and Rangiku robbed a bank?" Elmo asked.

"Uh huh." Tyco said, jumping off the pile of money. "Actually, we robbed the US Mint."

"You're kidding me, right...?" Creator said. "I CAN'T USE DOLLARS! I HAVE TO USE FRANCS! WE'RE IN FRANCE, REMEMBER?! GAH!"

Matsumoto slapped Gin in the face. "'She's American so she has to use American money' my ass! Ichi-chan what the hell were you thinking?!"

"MATSUMOTO!" Everyone's favorite Bleach character yelled out as he pulled up. "Don't slap people. Except him. You can slap him. Anyway, I got all the Euros you'd need!"

"Close." Kaede said. "But no cigar..."

Yet another car pulled up. This one had Ichigo, Renji, Rukia and Orihime in it. "We got the Yen." Ichigo said.

What happens next? A fourth car shows up. But this one looked like an old Model T Ford. Inside were Edward, Alphonse, Hawkeye and Mustang. "Cenz! Get your Cenz here!" Al yelled out cheerily.

"Seems like everyone's getting robbed..." Rin muttered.

A final car pulled up. This one had Aizen and Grimmjow in it. "We have the Francs!" They both yelled out.

"YES!" Creator ran over to the car. "I HAVE MONEY! Now we can start the show!" She ran back inside with each of the hosts, each carrying the money Grimmjow and Aizen stole.

"What? We don't even get thanks?" Aizen asked.

"Bitches..." Grimmjow muttered as he walked in the studio.

"This is 'When Worlds Collide'!" Creator announced as Sangeshitsu played on through. "Now that I have money, I can finally give out paychecks. But that will be done later."

"Where exactly DID all the money you had go?" Elmo asked.

"That is something I have no idea about, but I have a feeling it has to do with the fact that Rin's been playing World of Warcraft lately and that Kaede has been beating Tyco at Pokémon. Kaede probably went on a Pokémon card spending spree and Rin's been using my credit card to buy mounts and other shit for WoW."

"Yes..." Rin and Kaede had both admitted.

"You guys shouldn't be using our money up like that. We could've been cancelled!" Tyco exclaimed. "I don't wanna be useless!"

"Neither do we."

"You guys all have your own credit cards, ya know." Creator said.

"What?" Kaede reached in her pocket, and as if on cue, there was a credit card inside. "Really? Can we get on with the show now?"

"Fine." Tyco said. "First up is **ChibiNeko313!"**

***slumps against door frame***

**Ugh. Like... Ugh. You know that one guy in my fic? SheepFace? I have every. Fucking. Class with him. All of them. And none with Rogue! Or EL! TT-TT. It's quite depressing. *sigh***

"That sucks." Rin said. "What about lunch? Wouldn't you see Rogue and EmoLover there?"

**Ed- Yeah... I'm short. I've known that for a while. Blame my mom if you want. I'm actually 'Midget' in Hipp's cellphone contacts. I'm older than most of my friends though, fun fact. Now go make me a sammich. Drudge. Heheh.**

Edward came back out of the kitchen later with a bacon and cheese sandwich on toasted sourdough bread for Chibi.

**Aizen (and everyone else) - I apologize for France's behavior. So insteaaaad... *pulls Prussia from personal portal* I GIVE YOU AWESOME! Ok well... Not /give/ give. Just hang out and be chill I guess: D.**

"Was France hitting on us?" Winry asked. Alphonse nodded. "That's creepy."

"What's worse is that _he_ had to defend us." Hawkeye agreed.

"What's wrong with Aizen defending you? He's supposed to be God." Kaede remarked.

"We'd like to be able to defend ourselves." Lust said.

"Yay! Prussia's here! Bring the Italy next time!" DEA cheered as she glomped Prussia.

**And finally...**

***pulls Drudge from personal portal***

**This is Drudge! He will be my newest installment to Dares and Such. Seeing as he's my boyfriend, it seemed appropriate. Anything you wanna say? 3**

**Drudge: Hi I am *bleep* (he tried to say his real name but I bleeped it out AHAHAHA!) who are all of you people...?**

**Me: That would take a very long time to explain. So I'll say... Those are the hosts, and that's the Devil's Incarnate. Those are anime people, and the wall talks. Ok? Ok.**

**Drudge: The wall t-**

**Me: Yes. The wall talks.**

**Drudge: Ok then.**

"Hello to you too..." Elmo replied sarcastically.

**Me: Isn't he charming? Anyways. Bye. *flies away on fox-Pegasus crossbreed***

**Drudge: Wait, how do I get b- *trips into portal***

**Me: *watching* LOLOLOLOL KBAI.**

"See ya!" Rin said. "Well, that was odd."

"I know. Next up, **Sushi Hawkeye!"**

**Sushi: Alright, whose long list is that? The one at the very start over there?**

**Rai: Uh...I think it's actually Kaede's.**

"Yep. I already have half the world under my control! MUAHAHAHHA!" Kaede laughed.

"I'm pretty sure you're stealing Aizen's job." Ichigo said.

"Do you think I care?"

"Or Truth's job." Ed added.

"Shaddup."

**Sushi. Oh. Ok. Hm...I dare...**

**Rai: Envy to become piña coladas and paper again.**

**Sushi: And everyone must either chose to do one or both of the following**

**An Envy piña colada**

**An origami out of Envy papers**

**Rai: Why?**

**Sushi: Randomness, heat, humidity, and that Zagu I drank. Chocolate, to be exact.**

"Okay..." DEA13 said. She, Kaede and Elmo chose the piña colada, along with the FMA cast, and Tyco, Rin and the Bleach cast made origami.

**Rai: ... Next dare! I dare Kirby, Ed, Ling, and any number of representatives from Bleach to have an eating contest!**

"KIRBY!" Tyco spazzed as Kirby came in. The little pink blob remained silent. Over to the table, Aaronierro, Yoruichi, Omaeda, Ling, Edward, Kirby and Grimmjow took a seat in front of the massive piles of food.

"You each have one hour to eat as much food as you can. The winner will win a weight loss program to burn all that fat off. And...GO!"

"I AM THE KING!" Grimmjow said as he jumped on his table now void of food. He hadn't appeared to have gained a single pound, while the others looked like balloons. Rin quickly wheeled them off as DEA13 awarded the Sexta with a medal. "Where's the prize?"

"Oh, you didn't gain any weight, so you don't get it."

**Sushi: Why?**

**Rai: Your brother was browsing through his videogames and I saw Kirby's Epic Yarn.**

**Sushi: Oh. By the way, now we're even. I dare everyone who wants to join to have a bike derby! And the more tricks, the higher your score!**

**Rai: The winners to our two contests will be immune to a dare from either me or Sushi.**

Enthralled by this idea, everyone entered. In a surprising landslide victory, Envy won the contest.

**Sushi: Hm...A philosopher's stone to Rin and Tyco.**

**Rai: And let's turn Elmo into a real boy with those. Even if it'll last only until the next chapter ends.**

**Sushi and Rai: Bye!**

"Keep your stones." Elmo said.

"Don't worry, I'm not that selfless." Tyco soothed jokingly. "Next is **PurpledragoN1997!"**

**Beebee: *singing* Baby, you light up my world like nobody else! The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed!**

"The way you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell! You don't know-oh-oh! You don't know you're beautiful!" Kaede and Creator sang along. Rin and Tyco plugged their ears, and poor Elmo had to sit through it all.

**Brian: Beebee, how do you flip your hair? You have a fro.**

**Beebee: Shut up, and sing.**

**Brian: *crosses arms* No! I can't stand One Direction!**

**Beebee: Well, neither can I. But they do have catchy songs. Just because someone that I hate says a phrase doesn't mean I won't say it.**

"What direction do gay guys walk?" Kaede asked.

"Don't even say it, Kaede..." Rin facepalmed.

**Belle: DARES! *sees Uryuu* DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE! *pulls out AR-15 and shoots him***

**Brandi: That was not a dare.**

**Beebee: So? As long as Uryuu is in pain, I'm happy. Now, I don't watch FMA so I'm only on here for the Bleach people. And Kaede and Rin. *waves***

The FMA peeps cheered in victory at less dares, while the Bleach cast sulked for more torture.

**Brian: Dares, Beebee?**

**Beebee: Oh, yeah! Number one: Ichigo, stand on your head and let me throw cold oatmeal at you.**

**Brandi: O.o**

**Beebee: I've always wanted to do this! *throws oatmeal* HAHAHAHAHA!**

**Brian: Why do I put up with you?**

**Belle: Cuz you looove her!**

DEA took a note on her computer. 'Ichigo hates cold oatmeal...'

**Brian: Hmmph.**

**Beebee: Did I hear something about brownies in the last chapter? GIVE ME BROWNIES! *points .50 caliber machine gun at hosts and cast* OR I'LL MOW YOU ALL DOWN IN NOTHIN' FLAT! LITERALLY!**

"Izuru, get the brownies." Rin said. "Unless you wanna die. Be my guest then." Kira ran off and about a minute later, came back with a pan of brownies.

**Belle: Dare number 2.**

**Beebee: Hey! I didn't finish my threat!**

**Brian: Finish it later.**

**Beebee: OKAY!**

**Belle: Anyway, dare number 2: Grimmjow, act like a housecat to Nel. You know; purr, rub your head against her legs, meow, etc.**

"That. Is...AWESOME!" The female hosts exclaimed like fangirls. Tyco raised an eyebrow, and Elmo sighed.

"Mayuri, bring out the forced resurrection serum." Kaede said as Kurotsuchi brought out a vile of liquid that had a somewhat uncanny resemblance to a future cat's hair. *coughGrimmycough* She handed the vile to Grimmjow, who begrudgingly drank it. With a puff of smoke, Grimmjow was in a lock of his resurrection form. And yes, all he sounded like was a cat.

"This is so~ going on Youtube." Tyco said, filming the kitty.

**Dare 3: Kaede, I'd like a copy of those 'take over the world rules' please.**

**Brandi: That's not a dare either.**

"Yes it is!" Kaede said, emailing her a copy.

**Brian: NOOOO!**

**Beebee: MUHAHAHA!**

**Brian: I feel like annoying Beebee. *does Ikkaku's Lucky-Lucky dance***

**Beebee: CUT THAT OUT! *slams her bass guitar over his head and breaks it. The guitar, not his head.***

**Brian: OW! Crazy women!**

**Beebee: THAT WAS MY FAVORITE GUITAR! DON'T YOU DARE DO BALDY'S STUPID DANCE OR I WILL KNOCK YOU HROUGH A WALL! Okay, alley oop, folks!**

**Brian: *dazed***

**Brandi: Alley oop and good day.**

**Belle: Alley oop!**

"Alley oop!" The hosts replied. Kaede stared at Brian, still dazed on the floor. She opened up a portal and threw him in. "Who next?"

"I think it's me." Rin said.

"Yep. **BrightWings111."**

**Now then, ready to meet my FMA OC? This is Kayla, Mustang's younger sister and Ed's girlfriend. She's 14 and a General.**

**Kayla: *glares at Envy* die**

**Renna: Anger problems much?**

"Nah. She's just not green, that's all." Elmo said.

**Kayla: And I don't agree with AizenxHawkeye, UNLIKE someone I know who is obsessed with it *stares pointedly at Rin***

"I'm dubbing it AiRi." DEA said. "AizenxRiza."

**Rin: That reminds me! Aizen and Hawkeye must get married.**

An awkward silence fell upon the room, following the fainting of Kaede. "What have I said before? NO MARRIAGE!" DEA yelled at Rin.

**Kayla: ... **

**Renna: so you're a general when your brother who is twice your age is a colonel?**

**Kayla: Yup. It's all about talent, and Roy has next to none**

Kaede woke up from her fainting spell. "Wha happened?"

"Oh, nothing..." Rin said, not wanting to torture Kaede...for now.

**Rin: ...and she likes tormenting her brother...**

**Renna: ...Kaede, give me a baseball bat**

Kaede happily handed Renna a baseball bat; she already had a feeling on who was getting maimed or seriously injured.

**Thank you *beats Nnoitora to death***

**Kayla: *kicks Kimblee out of a five story window*. Bye**

**Rin: -.-' i am surrounded by crazy people**

"That you are. And they're all you." DEA said, rolling her eyes. "Who now?"

"That would be **SakuraKiss444."**

"Hey, I know her!"

**First things first: You scare the hell out of me, all of you.**

"I didn't intend to scare you..." Creator whined. "Usually I only scare little kids... Kaede scares almost everyone. But how are the others scary?"

**Next thing: HAHAHAHAGACK! (Me choke laughing) Third thing: I wanna do dares too! *falls on the ground like Mashiro***

"No one steals my move!" Kuna pouted.

**Here is my starting: (also, you can feel free to write anything you feel necessary in between and I'm curious to see the ending to each dare...)**

"Oh, so NOW it starts..." Ichigo rolled his eyes. "At least there was some foreplay to all of this.

"Tha's wha' she said." Gin laughed.

**Ohayou! I'm SakuraKiss444, but you may call me Chiharu, although DEA13 calls me Nanao. Hey everybody! I was GOING to do my dares on your Bleach T or D, since I barely know FMA, but since this was it, here it is. **

"We'll call you Chiharu in this, for the sake of not confusing people." Elmo said.

**My dares are...**

**1) The real Nanao must do ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING Kyôraku-Taicho says, no matter what it is. Hehehe**

"Oh God help me..." Nanao muttered as Shunsui got to thinking.

"Come drinking with me." Kyouraku said, and grabbed bottles off the shelves. One for his lovely Nanao, and the other for himself.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! THOSE ARE-!" Rin yelled as Kyouraku and Ise drunk the bottles. "The tequila...bottles...shit." And shoved them in a room.

**2) Ulquiorra must sing What We Will Never Know by innerpartysystem to Orihime. **

(Stupid song copyright rule...)

**3) Roy must act as a practice dummy for Riza for 36 hours.**

Kaede loaded up a truck full of weapons for Riza. "Good luck!"

**4) Hitsugaya must admit he's a midget, with teal orbs and white locks and dress like a five year old girl for the next 3 chapters. *Slaps dress on Hitsugaya* **

Toshiro growled at the thought. And at his appearance. "I'm a midget. Happy?"

"Yep. Especially since it's on camera!" Rin cheered, pointing at Ichimaru, who was holding a camera.

"Youtube gold..." Gin whispered.

**5) Ichigo must bark every time somebody swears for the next 5 chapters. Dammit. **

"BARK! This is so BARK!ing stupid."

**6) Soi Fang must six through a six hour PowerPoint on how much fucking *BARK* better Kisuke Urahara is than her and why Yoruichi picked him over her. **

Soi Fang came out hours later with a frown on her face. "But..." She went to the emo corner and cried her heart out.

**7) Don't mind me... MURDER THE HEAVENS! TAI YOKAI PURINSU TORA! *Demon tiger rips Aizen's throat out* THAT'S FOR GIN YOU LITTLE BITCH!**

Once again, Kaede fainted.

"I'm flattered..." Gin said, unsure of what else to say.

**8) Paging Grimmjow! *throws brick at Grimmjow's head* EAT- Aizen Tech, a Subsidiary of Sōsuke Corp Brand Name, BRICK GRIMMKITTY!**

"HISS!" Grimmjow hissed back, happily content on Nel's shoulder.

"I think we should turn him back." Creator pressed the rewind button on her remote, and in another puff of smoke Grimmy was back to normal."

"Seikou ka?!" Grimmjow yelled. "What the fuck?!"

"BARK! BARK!"

"YES! THE REAL WORLD HUECO MUNDO HAS RETURNED!" DEA13 ran over to the juke box and began playing 'Welcome to the World' again.

**Alright, I've had my fun. Bye bye! *waves like Gin and uses creepy voice* -Chiharu! :D**

"Tha' was creepy as hell." Gin said.

"BARK!"

"Wha' was tha' suppose' ta be?"

"I believe that was flattery. After all, imitation is the most sincere form of flattery." Elmo said, his wise words yet again true.

"And last is **DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympian s!"**

**HAAAAAAAAAALLOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm going to get to the point now before Kai realizes that the 'cast and hosts' that he started watching a 20 hour Wipeout marathon with are dolls.**

"Fail..." Tyco muttered.

**STRAWBERRY MAN! Just admit that your name means Strawberry and we will leave you alone. Well at least I probably will.**

"Fine, my name means strawberry." Ichigo yelled at Doc.

**GRIMMJOW! Good idea. **

"Of course it is." He replied smugly, getting an elbow in the gut from Nelliel.

**EVERYONE! Shall now get a personal Mary-Sue, leash, and anti-Sue spray for personal use.**

Creator made a special closet labeled "For the death of perfection" and stored all of the supplies in there.

**ELMO! ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIFE! So that means that I brought you into this fic, and I can take you out.**

"You don't have anything to do that with." Elmo said. "And besides, with what?"

**With this stuff. Its highly flammable and explosive, and only used by the most insane pyromaniacs. **

**CREATOR AND KAEDE! Yes you may have some. Press the shiny new red button to activate it.**

DEA placed a box over the button so it couldn't be accidentally pressed.

**EVERYONE! Shall watch Nullmetal Alchemist. No getting out of this one. I refuse.**

"Not this again..." Most people groaned.

**SZAYEL! Your hair is pink. :D I have now dubbed thee PINKIE PIE!**

"And why would that be? I'm not a pony."

**Because I can. :)**

**STRAWBERRY MAN! Must dress like a strawberry.**

Tyco handed Ichigo a strawberry costume. "Stay away from Gin unless you want more attention." He advised Kurosaki.

"Why am I doing this?"

**Again, because I say so.**

**GOOOOOOOOOD BYYYYYYYYYYYYE!**

"HONO SAINARA!" Everyone yelled as 'Ichirin no Hana' played on the loudspeakers.

FIN OF FOUR

Grimmjow picked up some brand name bricks at the store. Review, or be bricked by the Panther King. Your choice.


	5. Disappearing PuttyWait, PUTTY!

**A/N: I NEED YOUR DARES PEOPLE! SEND IN REVIEWS! PLEASE?! I'M BEGGING YOU!**

In the French studio we all know and love...

"Hello? Anyone? Come out now! It's time for the show!" DEA yelled as she walked in to a desolate room. Even a tumbleweed rolled across the room. "What the hell?" She walked outside the studio to see no one. No cars, not even a tumbleweed outside. "Oh, don't tell me the apocalypse actually _did_ happen while I was asleep..."

"PST!"

DEA looked around as she heard the sound.

"PST! Over here, child!"

"I'm thirteen! I'm a teenager damn it! Get it right!" She still couldn't see the figure.

"Look up!" The figure shouted at her. DEA13 looked up to see none other than a Vizard.

"Shinji? What the hell are you doing? And where is everyone?"

"I'm having fun." Shinji grabbed DEA by the arm and brought her to his upside down little world. "And I know where everyone else is."

"Great! Tell me then." She begged.

"Nope."

"Why not?"  
"I don't wanna die."

"You're gonna die if you don't tell me."

"Fine..." Shinji opened up the suitcase he was carrying around. It was probably stocked with 150 or more different kinds of...putty? Yes, putty. In all different colors, sparkles and even some that glowed in the dark!

"Uh, Shinji?" DEA13 picked up a tub of putty. "These are Silly Putty containers. Not people. I think you've been playing with your zanpakuto too much; the upside down-ness has done something to your head."

"Read the labels."

"Fine... I'll try my best, since they're in Japa-!" She looked at one putty container she recognized off the bat.

'God Putty'.

"WHAT THE HELL SHINJI!? WHY DID YOU TURN EVERYONE INTO PUTTY?!"

"Because I felt like being contrary..." he replied coolly.

DEA facepalmed. "Contrary, huh? Everyone, including Kaede, Rin, Tyco and Elmo, got turned into putty, put in containers and stuffed in a suitcase because you felt like being contrary?"

"Yeah, basically."

DEA stole the putty filled suitcase and snapped it shut. "No putty for you!"

Shinji deactivated his zanpakuto, and the two were once again back in the studio. "Aww... but I would've had so much fun toying with the God Putty!"

"Especially no Aizen putty for you." She said as she hit the rewind button on the remote. Everyone turned back into their respective forms.

Except for Aaronierro; he always gets messed up somehow...

"This is 'When Worlds Collide'!" As the song 'Sangeshitsu' played. "Now that you're all no longer in your amorphous forms, we can begin!"

"I really wanna slice Shinji up..." Kaede whispered to her sword as Shinji shied away to the emo corner.

"First up!" Tyco said, making sure he wasn't gonna collapse into jello. "**PurpledragoN1997!"**

**Beebee: *singing* The sun goes down, the stars come out. And all that counts is here and now.**

"My universe, will never be the same, I'm glad you came, I'm glad you came..." Kaede started with an echo effect at the end.

"You cast a spell on me, spell on me, you hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me, and I decided you'd look well on me, well on me, so let's go somewhere no one else can see, you and me-" DEA was interrupted

**Brian: SHUT UP!**

**Beebee: *sticks her tongue out at Brian***

**Brian: Ugh! You're gonna drive me insane!**

**Beebee: You mean I haven't yet? Dang. Back to the old drawing board.**

**Brian: *rolls eyes***

**Beebee: BROWNIES! NOM NOM NOM!*gobbles them up in three seconds***

**Brandi: You are getting a little slow, Beebee. Your last record was 2.45 seconds.**

**Brian: Brandi, what is that book?**

**Brandi: Nothing.**

**Belle: *snatches book* Hey! It is an autographed photo album of Bya-**

**Brandi: *snatches book back* I'll be taking my leave. *runs off***

**Belle: He sure is acting weird. Anyway, Uryuu? I'm going to slice you up into little tiny itty bitty teensy weensy miniscule-**

**Brian: It just goes on.**

**Belle: -microscopic slithers! Just so you know.**

"Thank you to you too..." Uryuu replied sarcastically.

**Beebee: DARES! Grimmjow, you must now act as my housecat!**

"It never ends, does it?" Grimmjow asked himself.

"No, it will. The only thing in the universe that's infinite is human stupidity." Rin said. "It just may take a very very long time, that's all."

"Way to get my hopes up..."

**Dare number 2: Byakuya must allow the Shinigami Woman's Society to use his ENTIRE house for one day.**

Too bad the SWA was already there... no need for permission!

**Dare number 3: Orihime, act like a punk for the rest of the chapter.**

"Oh god..." Rukia said. "This is gonna be funny."

"What's so funny?" Orihime asked, creeping behind Rukia like a mobster.

"N-nothing!"

**Dare number 4: Ichigo must be Rukia's personal butler for the remainder of the chapter.**

"Bonus points!" Renji gave his friend a friendly elbow in the arm.

**Dare number 5: Everybody must listen to my song!**

**Brian: Heaven save us!**

**Beebee: I threw a wish in the well. Don't ask me I'll never tell. I looked to you as it fell. But now you're in my way. I trade my soul for a wish.**

**Brandi: You must admit, Brian. Beebee's voice is not that bad. Brian? Brian?**

**Brian: *in a trance***

**Brandi: -_-**

**Beebee: Pennies and dimes for a kiss. I wasn't lookin' for this. But now you're in my stare was holdin'. Ripped jeans skin was showin'. Hot night wind was blowin'**

**Belle and Beebee: WHERE YOU THINK YOUR GOIN' BABY! Hey I just met you! And this is crazy! But here's my number! So call me maybe! It's hard to look right atcha, baby! But here's my number! So call me maybe!**

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO! THE TORTURE! SOMEONE SAVE US!" The hosts cried out in agony, as did the majority of both casts.

**Brandi: Thank you, girls. You're done now right? Yes. Good. Okay, Alley oop.**

"Alley...oop..." Kaede said, clutching her ears in fear they'd start bleeding.

"Who now?" Elmo asked. "Please don't let it be Carly Rae Jepsen..."

"Or Justin Bieber, for that matter." Rin agreed.

"No," Tyco said. "It's **SakuraKiss444**!'

"YES!" Creator pumped her fist. "Chiharu's back!"

**Hello! Chiharu 'ere! I was thinkin' about how much I loves Ichi-kun, an' I wanted t' use 'is voice fer this chapter, jus' like me an' DEA13 did fer a lil' while on PM's. **

"True dat." Creator agreed. "Which reminds me!" She whistled in the stealth force, who quickly incapacitated Gin. "We have two hours to build Gin the best birthday bash ever!"

"But his birthday's September 10th, not September 7th." Rin said.

"Early birthday present. Now GO GO GO!

[****************************************************************************************************************************]

"Ow...wha's goin' on-!" Gin woke up to see the room filled with silver party decorations, and of course, a Shinsou shaped cake! "Thanks guys!"

"No problem, compadre!" DEA said as she took a bite of the cake. "Moving on..."

**Also, I hope y'all are likin' Shirô-chan in 'is lil' dress, an' Ichigo an' 'is bark-when-swearin' rules, dammit *BARK*, still in effect fer anoth'r 2 an' 4 chapters. ;D**

"We're painfully aware of that..." The two victims said.

**1) Shunsui must do ANYTHIN' an' I mean ANYTHIN' Nanao says fer a whole day, t' get back at 'im fer chapter 3.**

"Ahem!" Nanao pointed to the massive stack of paperwork about as tall as he was on Kyouraku's desk. He got straight to work on the papers for fear of being damaged by Nanao-chan..."That's better. When you're done, you'll do the other desk." She pointed to Mustang's desk of files.

**2) Orihime mus' act like she does on Bleach Abridged fr'm BloodStaindLake. (An' if any of ya don't know what that is, yer stupid an' are now bein' forced by Kaede-san an' 'er Zanpaku-tô t' watch)**

"We've heard that way too often..." Nnoritora commented, disgusted at how they portrayed him.

**3) Grimmjow mus' act like th' kitty 'e is.**

"Aw COME ON! I CAN'T WIN!"

"Exactly." DEA agreed as she played 'Welcome to the World'. "Welcome to my world, where me, Kaede, Shuusuke Amagai and Aizen are the only winners."

"Why him?" Ichigo asked.

"Well, I actually decided to do some research, and I stumbled across him and AMAGAI YOU ARE AWESOME!"

"Thank you." The now dead ex-captain replied.

**4) DEA13 mus' watch Arrancar Party an' anythin' affiliated with Arrancar Party. (This isn't really a dare, but ya should watch the meetin' anyway. Jus' imagine it's got th' RWHM voices.) **

After a few hours...

"This is good shit..." *BARK*

**5) Fuck shit fuck *BARK BARK BARK Can I please stop doing this?!* NO WAY ICHIGO!**

**6) Soi Fang mus' stab anyone in this room other th'n me with Suzumebachi.**

Soi Fang gave Urahara a death glare.

**No! Not pervy shop owner!**

"Dammit..." she growled as she went after her lieutenant. *BARK*

**7) I jus' wanted t' do this again. PAGIN' GRIMMKITTY! *Throws brick* OW! FUCK! *BARK***

"It's about time I found one of those." Grimmjow said as he held the brick in his hand. He got to thinking who he'd chuck it at...

**Alrigh', I've 'ad my fun! Bye Bye! *Uses Gin voice and waves again* -Chiharu! :D (Oh, an' Ichi-kun, I am flatterin' ya...**

"Expected..." Gin said.

"Ya know, vanity ain't jus' somethin' ya got in yer bathroom." DEA said with the Gin voice.

"Tha' ain't nice..."

"And finally, **DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympian s!"**

**HELLO MAH PEEPS!**

"I'm not a marshmallow but hello!" DEA commented as the others waved.

**I'm back! With more dares!**

"I would hope so."

**SZAYEL! You must cosplay as Pinkie Pie. **

"WHAT THE HELL?! *BARK* WHY?!"

**Because I say so.**

Szayel muttered more rainbow words as he hopped in the Pinkie Pie suit.

**ROY! Dance in mud.**

Rin played a medley of music as Mustang made his way to muddy dancing.

"I don't see the point in this..."

**ED AND STRAWBERRY MAN! Pie eating contest.**

"But I don't competitively eat pie!" Ichigo yelled.

"Too bad." Edward replied as he downed his first pie.

An hour later...

"And Ed wins by a staggering 20 pies!" Tyco announced.

**RUKIA! Take Kai on a date.**

**All for now, since I'm tired... GOOD NIGHT!**

"Good night! DEA said as she shoved Rukia and Kai into the restaurant room. "Review and have a great day! Now who wants to kill Shinji?"

Everyone raised a weapon as Shinji ran out the door. "Catharsis of Eternity" played, creating an ironic air in the studio as the chaos insued...

FIN OF FIVE!

Happy Birthday Gin! R.I.P... REVIEW! AND I MEAN IT! I don't care if you have a hundred dares or just one, dares for both or just FMA or just Bleach, review!


	6. Haters Gonna Hate and Ichigo is Number 1

In the studio of France that everyone adores...  
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" Rin screeched as she continued to pace around the room.

"Ugh, just because I can't die doesn't mean I still can't get headaches, Rin." Kaede moaned, slapping down her TIME magazine.

"What the hell *bark* are you screaming about?!" DEA walked in, a little after the rest of the hosts as always.

"I think Izuru may pass Ichimaru on my list!"

"So? It's about time you had a change." Tyco said, looking more uninterested in the situation than the next guy. "Gin's been no. 1 forever."

"And it's supposed to STAY THAT WAY! NOT CHANGE!"

"Your point? My list is changing all the time." DEA13 disagreed.

"But what's the one thing in common with the majority of those lists?" Elmo inquired.

"Aizen is always at the top."

"Exacta." Kaede said, getting back to her magazine after popping two aspirin. "That's Rin's problem. Aizen should never change on yours; Gin shouldn't change on hers."

"Oh...Please don't start sounding like Findorr. It's more annoying than Ichigo." Tyco said.

Elmo thought about his comment for a second. "Who here hates Ichigo?" All of the hosts raised their hands. Then the rest of the casts walked in. They all raised their hands. Well, except Ichigo.

"Why must everybody hate me?!" Ichigo yelled to the sky.

"You're a Gary Stu." Ed told him.

"You look weird." Al agreed.

"You tried to kill Lord Aizen." Ulquiorra chimed in.

"You tried to kill me." Aizen agreed.

"You don't like women." Mustang and Jean said.

"Your sword is a big ass *bark* meat cleaver, not even a sword." Yamamoto said. Everyone eventually pitched in a reason why to hate Ichigo. Even Nel.

"You made Nel cry." Nelliel poked a finger at him.

"You don't like us!" Orihime and Rukia cried.

Ichigo promptly departed the stage to the emo corner by the name of Elmo.

"I don't particularly care for you either, Kurosaki-san." Elmo said. Ichigo left the building.

"Why couldn't you have done that EARLIER?!" Kaede barked at Creator.

"Because, well...I don't know, okay?! Do I look like Truth, Father or Aizen to you?!"  
"Truth and Father? No." Tyco agreed. "Aizen? Maybe, if we styled your hair, gave you Hueco Mundo clothes and made you grow eight inches. Then sure! You'd be Aizen's sister."

"That's a scary thought." Kisuke said. "I don't wanna have to deal with two Aizens..."

"You won't. One's in prison and the other's good." Kaede said.

"Please just play the music already." Creator sighed, grimacing at the thought of being related to Aizen. Tyco ran over and chose what HE wanted the openings to be. Up on the loudspeakers, "Blow Me Away" played.

"Really?" Kaede snorted.

"YAY!" DEA exclaimed.

"Anyway..." Kaede pointed to Äs Nödt, being all creepy in the back with the rest of the Stern Ritter. "You are creepier then Scary Aizen. And that's saying something, since his face peeled back and you could still see it."

"I'd agree with that." Rin said. "So is Berenice Gabrielli."

"Bambietta Basterbine is the only non-creepy looking one." DEA13 added.

"HEY!" The Stern Ritter shot back.

"Thank you!" Bambietta called back from the rear of the Vandenreich. The rest of the Quincy group glared daggers back at her. "What? It's not my fault I'm the only one who isn't creepy."

"Exactly. It's their fault for being creepy, rather." Elmo said, rather drowsily.

"Hello, Elmo." Ichigo said.

"Hello Kurosaki-san."

"First up is who?" Kaede asked.

Tyco grabbed the cards. "That would be **SakuraKiss444."**

**Hey y'all! Chiharu-chan here! I'm sooooooo bored right now. (And it doesn't matter when you post this because I'll still be bored; especially of I'm at school...)**

"School does that to people. That's why I haven't been updating also...T~T" DEA whined.

**Anyhoooooo, I decided to review instead of reply to my PM's, which I should probably do anyway. ulquihime7980 is been on my back about that songfic... Oh well!**

"Yes, you really should update that."

**1) Happy Late Birthday Ichimaru-Taicho! May GinRan still live in peoples' **

**hearts! (Sorry, Rin-san.)**

"NO! GINRAN CANNOT LIVE IN PEOPLE'S HEARTS!" The female hosts protested while the male hosts just sighed and shook their heads. Even the wall rolled his eyes.

**1 1/2) I hope my OC fic will be up by the time is chapter is up. I wanna know how you think I did with your character, Kaede-san! Maybe I'll have you beta it...**

"Of course! And you have done good!"

"Wait, you made another one of me?" Kaede asked Creator.  
"Yeah, why?"

"That's the sixth Kaede Kitsurii you've made. It's kinda ridiculous, don't 'cha think?"

"No, not at all. And if it's Kaede Kitsurii, it's only five. Kaede Nikoli-Hultz, remember?"

"Oh yeah...why Ed?"

"I felt like being contrary. Normally, it would be MustangxOC, but that's too expected from me."

**2) Ichigo now has to bark for 3 chapters and Shirô? You only have one! **

Toshiro flung himself on the ground and was about to start groveling before...

**I know, I know, you're grateful. Don't make me elongate it. ;) **

He quickly took his seat again.

**4) Nelliel stab Nnoitra. Yayz!**

"With pleasure." Nel said as she pulled out her zanpakuto.

"Popcorn?" Kaede offered as she began popping some from a popcorn machine. It quickly sold out.

"I will get you for this!" Nnoritora said before promptly being killed by Nel.

"And darkness veiled his eyes..." DEA echoed. (Iliad joke; you gotta read it to get it, but basically that phrase is in that book 100+ times)

**5) Hmm... PAGING GRIMMKITYY! *Throws brick* "STOP FUCKING *BARK* DOING THAT!" No way!**

"Poor Grimmjow, he's gonna get brain damage at this point..." Lilynette muttered.

**6) Rangiku has to switch personalities with Hitsugaya-Taicho or a whole day! That means Shirô, you like sake and being lazy. Ran-san, you like paperwork and protecting people. **

"So not only do I have to be like Matsumoto, but I also have to wear a dress too? You people are so lucky I get paid for this..." As Toshiro gulped a bottle of sake before Rangiku yelled at him for drinking while working.

**7) Kaede, kill all the Vizards except Hiyori and Lisa. They're the only two that don't bother me.**

"Finally...I get to exact my Shinji revenge." She drew her zanpakuto. "Burn, Jigoku no Honou! Bankai!" And her sword morphed into a Soi Fang sized flamethrower, which she promptly sizzled Hirako with. "Sorry to the rest of ya." She then scorched the others. "Get ya free Vizard ashes here!"

"Why so happy to sell them?" Rin asked.

"Cause I feel bad for burning Mashiro."

**Alright! I's has to go do mah homework! Bye bye! *I think you understand my exits* -Chiharu-chan!**

"You owe me for killing Kuna-kun."

"Shut up." Tyco complained. "Next is **PurpledragoN1997."**

**Beebee: Hey, guys. Brian won't let me sing.**

**Belle: How is he doing that?**

**Beebee: He has an anti-sing-a-nator attached to my brain. Every time I sing, I get electrocuted.**

**Brandi: THANK YOU!**

**-everyone stares at Brandi-**

**Note: He is not usually that loud or emotional.**

**Brian: Umm, Brandi? You okay?**

**Brandi: *composes himself* Yes, why do you ask?**

**Belle: No reason, bro! Well, we have a guest with us today! Everyone meet Jade!**

The hosts wave hello to the new girl. "Hi!"

**Jade: Whattup?**

**Beebee: Jade is my cousin/best friend who is sleeping over at my house so I dragged her to the show.**

"She seems cool." DEA commented.

**Jade: Hey, dat's cool wit me.**

**Belle: So Jade, tell us your favorite character!**

**Jade: *flips hair* Dat would be... *points at Byakuya* you.**

**Brandi: I am in total agreement.**

"We are not in agreement with that." Creator pointed to herself and jerked a thumb at Kaede.

"Yeah, he's a royal pain in the ass. A moron with a spear up his ass."

"What is with you and asses today?"

"My bus is what."

"That happened to me, not you."

"I know."

Rin pouted. "Bya-kun is awesome!"

"NO ONE CARES!"

**Belle: Brandi, you're not gay, are you!**

**Brandi: NOT ON YOUR FREAKIN' LIFE!**

**-everyone stares at Brandi-**

**Brandi: I'm leaving before I further humiliate myself. *leaves***

**Jade: Dat was a little weird.**

**Belle: Hey, Jade! You do the dares!**

**Jade: Sounds cool. Dare 1: Ichigo, no talking for this dare. Renji, list off several embarrassing things that Ichigo has done (real or not).**

"Real or not, eh?" Renji pondered the thoughts. "Well, he tried to ask me out, he got drunk and starting going after Matsumoto, he did the same to Rukia, he made out with a Chappy doll..."

"I think that's good." Rukia advised, pointing to Ichigo's redder then Pineapple's hair face.

"Aww..."

**Dare 2: Orihime, stay a punk. It's cool for you.**

**Beebee: *whispers* Much better than her original prissified self.**

**Jade: Dare 3: Renji, we fight. I'm gonna whoop yo tail! *smiles* No zanpakutos! Hand-to-hand, baby!**

**-Jade suddenly has a tail and fox ears-**

**Brian: Hey! You can't change into your fox form!**

**Jade: Why? I just said no zanpakutos! Let's fight! Byakuya, your next after I beat his tail off!**

**Beebee: I can't sing. *sniffle* Brian one little song? One teensy little song?**

**Brian: No.**

**Beebee: *puppy dog eyes* Pweeease?**

**Belle: Dude! Don't do it!**

**Brian: Oh,...fine.**

**Beebee: Yes! *singing* Baby, you light up my world like nobody else! **

**Brian: *groan* Why did I do this?**

**Belle: Alley oop! *skewers Uryuu with spear* Jade, come on!**

**Jade: I'm busy! I'm staying! Alley oop, guys!**

**Brian: Alley oop.**

"Okay, no fight then..." Matsumoto said as she dumped a bucket of hot water on Toshiro. "WAKE UP! HITSUGAYA~!"

"Ookay..."

"Next up is **Redrocket8800!"**

**I dare Ichigo to say 'in a bed' after every sentence for 2 chapters! XD Also, everyone has to call Grimmjow Grimmkitty! Ulquiorra gets to taze anyone who swears! And, lastly, everyone has to address Aizen as GOD OF CRAP(for the rest of the chapter!) That's it for now!**

"Oh shit..." Kaede mumbled. "OW! GOD DAMMIT ULQUIORRA! OW!"

"This is going to be a long day..."

"Got any tips on not to swear, God o' Crap?" Kaede asked.

"You could just not talk." Aizen suggested.

"Eh, could work."

"**Maruki Shitoichi!"**

**"Yay! I'm back by writing this review from my Grandpa's BlackBerry! Since I don't have one, and my damn phone can't be used to review you." Maru smiled gingerly.**

**"Aaand, since it's my final year in middle school, my Mom banned me from my laptop AND computer on the weekdays, and I can only use it for two hours only. TWO DAMN HOURS!" She yelled, frustrated.**

"That sucks..." Tyco said.

**"Anyway," Natsumi rolled her eyes. "On with the dare-!"**

**"And for the record Aizen, you're NOT as cool as Al, from my opinion. I've seen you on Animax, and you ain't my type. So, there IS a type of girls that does have the courage to stand still from your seduction." Maru stated.**

"Huh?" Aizen asked, confuzzled.

"Not everyone loves you, oh God 'o Crap." DEA said. "She doesn't."

"Oh...well, you can't please everyone."

**"Sorry, Kaede-San. And if I mind to ask, if you're with Gin, did Rin 'allowed' you to have him, or not?"**

"Sigh... No one is actually PAIRED...but Kaede's got Aizen, Rin has Gin, Tyco has Yoruichi, Elmo has Sode no Shirayuki and I have Mayuri." Creator said.

**"Okay...awkward..." Natsumi's sweat dropped.**

"You could say that."

**"Onto La Dares!"**

"It's ZE dares, but I'm just OCD about that."

**"Ed- you may take Winry's hand from Ling. If you please. And you may also date two girls at the same time." Natsumi laughed.**

"Is polygamy even legal here?" Elmo asked.

"I think it actually is." Kaede said. "If not, then I'm screwed."

"Usually that means you've already been screwed." Tyco smirked.

"Don't even go there..."

**"Mustang- Okay YOU are MORE pathetic than I thought."**

**"HEY!"**

**"No comment! For your dare, get a vermouth, silver bullet, gin, vodka, bourbon, chianti, korn, pisco, sherry, and other various types of alcohol for my Detective Conan, Black Organizations nickname references. This would be a medicine to 'heal' your broken dignity, from the humiliation from Aizen." Natsumi continued.**

**"You just want to see him drunk, didn't you?" "No, I'm just gonna took some pictures of him 'being drunk', and then post it onto the internet." "Sounds good."**

"I like that idea." Tyco said, content with Mustang's smiling face.

**"Oh well, see ya later, Kaede-san!" Maru waved her hands and smiled.**

**"Bye!" Natsumi smiled.**

"Goodbye!" DEA said.

"Next is **DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympian s!"**

**HELLO MARSHMALLOWS!**

"STILL NOT A MARSHMALLOW!"

**RUKIA! So, how'd it go?**

"It was certainly different." Rukia chuckled. "Your brother is not the average person."

**...*death glare to Kai***

**Kai: What? I thought it was nice...**

"I agree with your brother." Rukia said, gaining a death glare from Renji, Byakuya and Ichigo.

***kills all the Quincys* I hate you. HOLLOWS NEED LOVE TOO!**

"YEAH BUDDY!" As all the hosts did the "Yeah~!" from Regular Show (if you don't know that show then you don't have a life).

**CHAD! You are awesome.**

"Thank you." Chad said.

"Still not saying much..." Yuichi complained.

**KON! Same goes for you.**

But Kon was too busy bothering Rangiku with work to even notice the compliment.

**Bout it, except for the dude in the white and green hat. I forget your name, but you're slightly creepy...**

"Kisuke's not creepy!" Kaede argued.

"Yeah, he's just weird!" DEA agreed with the OC.

"Yeah! Wait, what?" Urahara asked.

"Did we stutter?"

"No..."

**LATER!**

"GOODBYE DERPY!" DEA yelled as Doc left. "Who's last?"

"That would be **BrightWings111."**

"Oh, okay then. This'll be fun."

**Renna bursts in, eyes gleaming with hatred.**

**"Renna?" Rin asks with concern. "Are you o-"**

**"CREEP!" Renna screams, whacking Nnoitora with a frying pan. "YOU CREEPY-ASS CREEP!"**

Kaede munched on more popcorn as she watched the new hit movie.

**"..." Kayla walks in unamused. "I think Renna's lost it."**

**"Not entirely," Rin says as Renna progresses to start whacking Tosen with the frying pan, calling him a creep as well. "Her actions are completely justified." Rin pulls out her laptop and shows Kayla Renna's journal.**

**"CREEP!" Kayla screams, kicking Nnoitora in the face. "THAT IS SOOO WRONG YOU CREEPY-ASS CREEP! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!". **

**"...And I thought Renna overreacted," a boy with black hair said, walking on set.**

"Drake?" Elmo asks.

**"What are you doing here?" Rin asks, narrowing her eyes.**

**"Coming to see where you disappeared to," the boy replies. "My name is Drake and-" Drake stops short when he sees Omaeda. "DIE!" he yells, smacking Omaeda with a spatula.**

**"...Well then," Rin says. "How about some dares, nee?"**

"I like that idea." Creator goes.

**Renna stops beating up Tosen. "I want to see Gin and Aizen in maid outfits again!"**

"I revoke my earlier statements."

**"Forget them," Kayla snorts. "I wanna see Roy get his head shaved."**

"Can you read? See above phrase!"

**"What if we make Ed, Grimmjow, Kisuke, and Greed have a drinking contest?" Drake suggests.**

"I don't like repeating myself, people!"

**"...this is a message to all of my OCs..." Rin starts. "GET OUT NOW BEFORE ANYONE ELSE GETS HURT!"**

"Now THAT'S a good idea!" Kaede cheered."

"But it ended." Rin said.

"So?" Tyco ran over and played "False Pretense on the jukebox."

"Hono Sainara peoples! REVIEW!"

FIN OF SIX!

And now that the Qunicys are pissed, they're after us all. Review for protection... PLEASE! I DON'T WANNA DIE!


	7. 2nd Aizen, Gangnam Style & Circus Afro

Dans le studio français que tout le monde connaît et aime...

(In the French studio that everyone knows and loves...)

Behind a pile of paperwork sat...

Not Mustang.

Not Matsumoto.

Not Shunsui.

But Devil'sEyeAlchemist13.

"Damn *BARK*, I hate homework."

"If you listened to your mother," Kaede nagged, playing paddleball. "You wouldn't have so much work to make up."

"I do listen." DEA whined. "...Sometimes."

"There's your problem." Tyco insisted. "Listen to her more often, and you won't get kicked off the computer for almost two months."

"I learned my lesson..."

"I hope you did." Rin said.

"This isn't something I want to go through again." Elmo agreed. "Now, shall we start the show?"

"I like that idea." DEA said as the casts walked in. She counted the number of piles on her desk. "Let's see...English, Chemistry, Algebra, History, AP Spanish, Health..." Gazing at the casts, she said, "Rose, Mayuri, Father, Szayel, Dordoni and Dr. Marcoh, come over here!"

The said people came over to her.

"Rose, do my English homework, Mayuri tackles my chemistry, Szayel does algebra, Father does history, Dordoni does my Spanish and Dr. Marcoh does my health project." DEA13 shoved them all into a room to do her work. Dashing over to the jukebox, she selected 'Comatose' by Skillet.

"This is 'When Worlds Collide'!" The hosts announced as the audience applauded.

"I have returned from a long hiatus with...um...my insanity intact!" DEA proudly proclaimed.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Ichigo asked.

"For us," She jerked a thumb at the hosts. "Good. I don't think I can guarantee the same for you guys."

"First up is a new person!" Tyco exclaimed. "Please welcome **VentusZephyria!" **

** Hi people! The name's VentusZephyria, VZ for short. Before dares I want to say that I just went through your profile and I LOVE YOU! THANK GOD THERE IS SOMEONE WHOTHINKS LIKE ME! You have no idea how much I've suffered for being different *Crawls into a ball and starts sobbing, dark energy emanating from him* I'll kill them all someday, I'll kill them slowly and painfully**

** *snaps out of it* sorry, really deep scars in my heart and darkness I can't control.**

"Elmo, is this guy stable?" DEA asked.

"Yeah, you've been worse."  
"Yeah!" Rin laughed. "Like earlier today!"  
"THOSE 3 YEAR OLDS MAULED ME AND TRIED TO EAT ME!"

"See?"

** As a dare, I would like all characters present to dance Gangnam Style, with Byakuya doing the part of the guy in yellow. It's hilarious.**

(Lyrics to the Gangnam Style)

Oppan gang-namseutayil

Kang-namseutayil

Naje-neun ttasaroun inkanjeo-gin yeoja

Keopi hanjanye yeoyureuraneun pumkyeok i-nneun yeoja

Bami omyeon shimjangi tteugeowojineun yeoja

Keureon banjeon i-nneun yeoja

Naneun sana-i

Naje-neun neomankeum ttasaroun geureon sana-i

Keopi shikgido jeone wonsyas ttaerineun sana-i

Bami omyeon shimjangi teojyeobeorineun sana-i

Keureon sana-i

Areumdawo sarangseureowo

Keurae neo hey keurae baro neo hey

Areumdawo sarangseureowo

Keurae neo hey keurae baro neo hey

Chigeumbu-teo kal dekkaji kabol-kka

Oppan gang-namseutayil

Kang-namseutayil

Oppan gang-namseutayil

Kang-namseutayil

Oppan gang-namseutayil

Eh- sexy lady

Oppan gang-namseutayil

Eh- sexy lady

O-oo-o

Jeongsu-khae boijiman nol ttaen noneun yeoja

Ittaeda shipeumyeon mukkeot-deon meori puneun yeoja

Karyeot-jiman wen-manhan nochulboda yahan yeoja

Keureon gamkakjeo-gin yeoja

Naneun sana-i

Jeomjanha boijiman nol ttaen noneun sana-i

Ttae-ga dwehmyeon wahnjeon michyeobeorineun sana-i

Keunyukboda sasangi ul-tungbul-tung-han sana-i

Keureon sana-i

Areumdawo sarangseureowo

Keurae neo hey keurae baro neo hey

Areumdawo sarangseureowo

Keurae neo hey keurae baro neo hey

Chigeumbu-teo kal dekkaji kabol-kka

Oppan gang-namseutayil

Kang-namseutayil

Oppan gang-namseutayil

Kang-namseutayil

Oppan gang-namseutayil

Eh- sexy lady

Oppan gang-namseutayil

Eh- sexy lady

O-oo-o

Ttwiineun nom keu wiie naneun nom

Baby baby

Naneun mwol jom aneun nom

Ttwiineun nom keu wiie naneun nom

Baby baby

Naneun mwol jom aneun nom

You know what I'm saying

Oppan gang-namseutayil

Eh- sexy lady

Oppan gang-namseutayil

Eh- sexy lady

Oppan gang-namseutayil

"That was fun!" Orihime said.

"I felt like a retarded penguin." Rin said.

** Also, I feel like torturing people, so Kimblee, turn every single of the host's pairs into non-reversible bombs, not even reversible through HEAVENLY or DEMONIC powers and make the hosts watch as they blow up. Also blow up mustang. And don't try to prevent it, on my dark energy will overflow and a dark Valkyria Final Flame will happen, killing everyone. The same will happen if you hurt me (VFF is like 100 Hiroshima Bombs going of over you, but with PURE FIRE instead of explosives. More powerful than Ryuujin Jakka) I AM EVIL! FUAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry hosts but couldn't resist.**

"No, you're just mean." DEA disagreed. "I'm evil."

"No, you're insane. I'm evil." Kaede boasted. You could cut the tension between OC and Creator with a knife, or rather, a zanpakuto. While they were busying glaring at each other...

"BOMBS!" Kimblee yelled as he turned Aizen, Gin, Kurotsuchi, Urahara, Kira, Yoruichi, Grimmjow, Shinji, Sode no Shirayuki, Mustang, Ed and Greedling into bombs. Then, unfortunately, he had to blow himself up.

"Poor Kimblee," Elmo sympathized.

*Chart on who was blown up for who*

DEA13/Kaede

Aizen

Gin

Kurotsuchi

Urahara

Kira

Mustang

Ed

Kimblee

Greedling

Rin

Gin

Urahara

Kira

Shinji

Grimmjow

Mustang

Kimblee

Elmo

Sode no Shirayuki

Tyco

Yoruichi

"I feel disrespected..." Tyco whined.

"Would you like some cheese with that wine?" Kaede taunted.

"Asiago, please."

Kaede facepalmed. "You really don't get the concept of sarcasm."

"It's called 'I was kidding', dumbass. Next up is **PurpledragoN1997!"**

**Purple: Hi, everyone! I guess I should start with a truth...**

** Brandi: *gulp***

**Purple: About myself, calm down Brandi! I am a Quincy.**

"You have officially dropped on my friends list." Kaede said.

"That's rude..." DEA argued.

"But true."

** Belle: I have finally accepted this.**

** Purple: *glares at Uryuu* That doesn't mean I like you, kid!**

** Brandi: Who said you did?**

** Belle: *gasp* NO! PURPLE! YOU CAN'T LIKE HIM!**

** Purple: *punches Belle* SHUT UP! I don't like him! That's what I just said! *groan***

"Thank GOD!" The hosts sighed in relief.

** Belle: I wanna do the dares! First, Ichigo. Dance the hula!**

Ichigo attempted to dance the hula, but had no idea how. "There's your hula."

"That wasn't a hula." Rukia complained.

"Yes it was!"

"Hips don't lie, Ichigo. That was NOT a hula." She got up and started doing the hula. "THIS is the hula."

** Brandi: *whimper* MY EYES!**

**Purple: My turn! Yuzu! Give Brandi a hug!**

** Brandi: AAAGGH! BEEBEE!**

** Purple: *throws a lamp at Brandi* DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME BEEBEE!**

** Brandi: But, but, but you're making me hug her! HER!**

** Purple: NO EXCUSE! *ties his tail in a knot* DON'T. CALL. ME. BEEBEE. GOT IT?!**

**Brandi: G-got it!**

** Purple: NOW GO HUG YUZU!**

** Brandi: *hides behind Ichigo* Don't let her hurt me!**

** Belle: I never thought I'd see the day when Brandi would hide behind someone.**

** Purple: Get the message, BRANDON? DON'T CALL ME BEEBEE!**

** Brandi: *glares* YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME BRANDON! *charges at Purple* GGRRRRRRRRR!**

** Purple: *charges at Brandi, attacking with a crowbar***

** Belle: Where did she get that from?**

"No hug?" Yuzu whined.

**Kianda: Oh, well. Dares. Karin, kiss Toshiro.**

"What?" Karin stuttered. "NO!"

** Renji, dye your hair pink.**

"I already have!" Renji proclaimed.

"That's not a good thing." Uryuu said.

"I'm supporting the awareness for breast cancer!"

"That was in October. It's November now."

"The dye didn't come out yet, okay?!"

** Kenpachi, sing Barbie Girl.**

Kenpachi proceeded to sing, which really sounded bad to begin with, and the fact that it was Barbie Girl proceeded to shatter all the glass in the building. The shards killed four bystanders outside the building.

"Kenny, you're paying for that." Yachiru told him.

** Ikkaku, wear a wig all day.**

Ikkaku went to the wonderful room of wigs and picked out a brown wig.

When Ikkaku returned, Yumichika started laughing.

"What's your problem!?" Ikkaku snapped.

"Oh nothing...Hey, Captain Aizen, where's your glasses? HA!"

Ikkaku scrambled to a mirror, only to see that he, in fact, DID look somewhat like Aizen did in Soul Society. He ran back to the wig room and came out wearing another wig.

This time, the hosts cracked up.

"NOW WHAT?!"  
"Da da dadadadada Circus afro circus afro circus afro polka dot polka dot afro!" The hosts sang as they did the stupid dance.

** Belle: How are we gonna get them out of here?**

** Kianda: Easy. BEEBEE! BRANDON! OVERHERE!**

** Belle: Kianda! Run!**

** Kianda: I am! Alley oop, folks!**

"Alley oop!"

"Now who's next?"

"That would be **BrightWings111.**"

**"...Hey, Aizen," Renna says, walking in. "I have a question for you. Why is Las Noches all white? It drives me so damn insane! Kaede and I are gonna paint it purple!" She turns her head to Kaede. "Not you Kaede, a different Kaede. DEA still created her, though..."**

Kaede VII peeped her head in the doorframe. "Sosuke! Me an' Renna are gonna paint the town purple!" And ran off.

"That was random." Our host Kaede said.

"White looks sophisticated." Aizen replied. "It goes with anything."

** Kayla walks in, extremely mad. "IM NOT A LITTLE KID!" she yells, smacking Mustang with a baseball bat.**

"OW! DAMMIT KAYLA!"

** "...you're 14." Drake says, watching from a corner. "Not exactly an adult."**

** "Neither are you," Kayla retorts.**

** "Why must my OCs constantly argue?" Rin mutters.**

**"Your fault for making us that way," Renna says. "Anyway, can someone disintegrate Tosen please? 200 times?"**

Now it was Yamamoto's turn to dole out the punishment. (I think you get what happens).

**"Szayel, turn Aizen into a Quincy," Drake smirks. "Either that or you dye your hair black." He draws his zanpakuto and points it at Szayel. "No exceptions."**

"Well, since the former isn't really possible..." Szayel thought. "Ulquiorra, I'm borrowing your hair dye!"

**Kayla pushes Envy into a ditch. "Now where was that grenade...?"**

**"Alright, OUT!" Rin yells, pushing Renna and Kayla out of the room and chucking Drake out of the window.**

"Now that's taken care of..." DEA sighed.

"Last up is **SakuraKiss444!"**

** Sup... So, I got a huge crack in my iPod screen yesterday because my friend Cameron said he'd jailbreak it and then he dropped it... Bastard... :,( Well at least i still have my iPhone! Anyway, onto mah dares!**

"Lucky you..." Kaede scowled.

"Oh shut up." DEA shot.

** 1) Oh! Shirô-chan, you're free from your dare! Berry-chan, you've still got 2 more chapters of bark-swearing. Shit.**

*BARK*

"I AM FREE!" Toshiro chanted. "You have no idea how close I was to asking Matsumoto for some sake."

** 2) PAGING GRIMMKITTY! *You get the jist* I wanted to get this done early. And if you even try to hurt my Kitty-boy, you'll be dead in a second. **

"NO ONE TOUCH THE CAT!" Tyco yelled as he made a fence around Grimmjow.

** 3) Nice Breaking Benjamin reference (awesome song, btw). :D I dare DEA13 to base the next 2 chapters after either Breaking Benjamin or Skillet songs! **

"I'm working on that."

** 4) All of the Espada/Arrancar have to dress like maids this chapter and kittens next chapter.**

"Group photo!" Kaede snapped a picture of all of them together, and placed it on the door to the fireplace corner.

"We have one of those?" Rin asked.

Yes, yes you do.

** 5) I dare Szayel and Kurotsuchi to create a potion to cure my Writer's Block and give it to Chiharu. (She writes all my stories anyway...)**

"I have one," Mayuri said. "But you need a prescription from your doctor in order for me to give it to you."

** 6) I dare Ikkaku and Yumichika to spend the WHOLE next two chapters hanging out with Yachiru. COMPLAIN AND FACE DEATH BY ZANPAKU-TÔ!**

**Well, I gots t' go. Bye Bye *Exits like Gin* -3-Chiharu (If it doesn't show up, it's a heart)**

"See ya!" Creator waved. "Now, Gay-feathers-boy and Circus Afro, go hang with Candyland over there. NOW!" The two quickly ran away with Yachiru.

"Sainara!" The hosts exclaimed as 'Awake and Alive' blasted on the sound system.

* * *

**FIN OF SEVEN**

**Yes, I'm back. This is what happens when people don't do their homework. Take the hint and do your homework!**

**Now, since you've read, push the little button and dare us. Please?**

**~Devil'sEyeAlchemist13**


	8. God is Dead: When Shit Gets Real

In the studio of France we all know and love...

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" The hosts announced as "Jingle Bell Rock" by Thousand Foot Krutch came on the loudspeakers.

"It's the 'When Worlds Collide' Christmas Special!" Kaede announced.

"I GOTS ME A TABLET!" DEA13 said as she stormed in with a little tablet about the size of an iPhone in her hand.

"Improper grammar I'm guessing is something that comes with getting something one wants?" Aizen assumed.

"Um, Kaede?" Tyco nudged her arm. "I don't think these people know what Christmas is. I never see anything Christmas related in either of these animes."

"We'll find out then." Rin said cheerfully. "Everyone who knows what Christmas is come to this side of the studio!" Ichigo's human friends and family were the only ones that came over.

"You're kidding me, right?" Elmo said shocked, mouth agape. "All of you people seriously don't know what Christmas is?"

"No." The majority replied.

"You're missing out big time..." Kaede muttered. "Anyways, we are back!

"I also got the magical volume 48 of Bleach..." DEA13 announced. "God is Dead."

"Why is it so magical?" Alphonse asked. "Does it levitate?"

"Nope."

"Then why is it magical?" Roy reiterated.

"Have you _seen_ the cover?"

"Nope. Because you keep staring at it like it's the most beautiful thing in the world."

"It is..."

"I'm sorry Mustang." Rin stole the book from Creator. "She's been obsessively fangirling over this book cover for eternity." Showing Mustang the book cover, as well as everyone else, their reactions were not expected at all.

One might say they perfected the art of recreating Ichigo's WTF face.

(In case you don't know what's on the cover of that volume, since I don't assume people memorize who's on what volumes, it's Aizen with the Hogyouku right before the little 'fight' with Gin.)

"Kaede obsessed over it for about twenty minutes, and then went back to doing some research." Rin finished.

"On what?" Tyco questioned.

"How easy it would be to steal Kisuke's hat."

"That's stupid."

"But I think she found out how." She pointed to Kaede, who was wearing the green and white hat Kisuke usually did.

"Can I have my hat back?" Kisuke whined like a little kid as he followed Kaede around the studio.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I look too cute with it on." Kaede plucked the book from Rin's hands and threw it back at Creator. "Creator, stop worrying about how epic Aizen looks! We have a show to run!"

"Um, Kaede?" Elmo interrupted.

"What?"

"She's not thinking about how epic Aizen looks."

"What?! Well, he does look pretty epic..."

"Let me rephrase that: She's not thinking about how EPIC Aizen looks."

"...I don't get what you're getting at."

"Creator is thinking about how cute Aizen looks."

"HOT!" DEA13 burst out. "HOT, NOT CUTE!"

Aizen pinched the bridge of his nose. "If I may, I believe I have a solution to this."

"Do whatever ya want, as long as you don't kill her." Tyco gestured to DEA13, who had returned to her dazed state. Aizen thanked Tyco and walked over to Creator, knelt down and tried to get her attention.

"DEA13?" Aizen sighed. "I didn't want to have do this, but..."

SMACK!

The audience, the casts and the rest of the hosts gasped.

"Did he just slap her?" People whispered in the crowd.

"I think so..."

"What's gonna happen next?"

"I don't know."

"I think that manga is an omen; she's gonna kill him!"

"I doubt that; this is a demigod for crying out loud."

DEA shook her head as she held her cheek. There was a large red mark about the size of Aizen's hand, and it was already turning black and blue. "Y-y-you just slapped me...stupid move Aizen! STUPID MOVE!" She planted her foot in his face, leaving tread marks in his face and an Aizen-shaped indent in the opposite wall. Everyone looked with stunned faces as she got up and returned to center stage. "Don' mess wit a New York bitch, motherfucker..." she muttered. "Who's up first?"

"That would be **VentusZephyria."**

** Well sorry for my past intervention, hosts. You see, I'm kind of unstable, and was diagnosed crazy some time ago. Went to psychologist for years, but wasn't insane enough to guarantee being locked up. Or so they think *Psychotic Grin***

"Epic." Kaede nodded.

** but oh well, let me introduce the ever present voices in my head! They're named after stars. I like stars. They're cool**

** Astaroth: Boss, snap out of it**

** Me: Why?**

** Astaroth: Just stop, ok?**

** Me: you're mean, Asta**

** Astaroth: Oi, I'm Astaroth. We think I'm all his darkness. And I think DEA's cool. So I won't kill her. The rest, maybe.**

"Yeah, bitches, I'm epic."

** Nusakan: Asta, dear, no killing.**

** Astaroth: But...**

** Nusakan: Please?**

** Astaroth: ok, but only because it's you, cutie.**

** Nusakan: Hey, I'm Nusakan. We think I'm Astaroth's opposite feeling-wise**

** Pleiades: And she's Asta's girlfriend!**

** Nusakan: *Blush* PLE!**

** Pleiades: Hey, I'm Pleiades, the prank master. And before I forget... *sets teary-smoke bomb in the middle of the room, blows it up, and watches as the cloud covers the whole area except where her embodiment, that of the other voices, VZ and DEA are* happy crying!**

** Polaris: Ple, was that necessary?**

** Pleiades: yep. Pola, get a personality**

** Pola: I am information. A personality is useless**

** Asta: Pola is boring as usual**

** Sirius: BANANA!**

** Asta: DAFUQ SIRI?!**

** Nusakan: He says you're wrong. And before I forget, that's Sirius. He is randomness incarnate. But I change what he means somehow.**

**Asta: can I kill him**

** Ple: no!**

** Nusa: Asta, no**

** Asta: Why?**

** Me: people, please be silent? I'm getting a headache.**

** Well cutting straight to the point, I dare you to have everyone state their favorite song, and if any of them is a breaking Benjamin, three days grace, skillet or three foot Krutch song, give the one who said that a treat of your choosing. **

"It's Thousand Foot Krutch," Rin corrected. "Not Three Foot Krutch."

** Asta: Can I kill those who don't say one of those?**

** Me: if the hosts allow it**

** Asta: Can I kill them, please? PLEASE?**

"No. The chapter reset button is broken now because _someone_ had to spaz out because she got slapped." The hosts glared at Creator.

"Hey, ya don't slap me and get away with it."

** Me: but kill them after I'm done**

** Asta: ok**

** Nusa: I want everyone to paint their feelings about Aizen on Las Noches's walls!**

** Ple: why?**

** Nusa: 'cause painting is fun and I kind of dislike Aizen**

The walls of Las Noches were covered with vulgar graffiti, except for the Throne Room, which was filled with hearts. White hearts, outlined in black.

** Ple: ok... Well what I want is that for the next two chapters, whenever someone swears, he must eat what they hate the most. Also, DIE URYU! *Rips his bowels off and starts eating them***

** Asta: Oooohhh, bowels! Gimmie, Gimmie!**

** Me: I want some too**

** Pola: don't worry. Contrary to general belief, Quincy bowels are not deadly.**

** And my question is, Ichigo, how many girls have you kissed out of a dare?**

Ichigo started counting on his fingers, but he never finished counting.

** Me: ok, that's that. Also, Here I leave a chainsaw, an AUTOMATIC SHOTGUN, a rail gun, and a gun blade. The gun blade goes to DEA. She gives the other weapons to whoever she wants. Those who have weapons, go all out. Those who don't, run to the hills. **

Kaede took the chainsaw, Kisuke got the automatic shotgun, and Tyco got the rail gun.

** Also, can we beat up Tite Kubo for misusing Spanish? It's 'Mundo Hueco', not 'Hueco Mundo'!**

"I don't want to get sued for that," Creator thought out loud. "So I'm gonna have to say no."

** All six: Chao, hablamos!**

"Ciao for now!" The hosts waved as they left.

Finally regaining consciousness and pulling himself out of the wall, Aizen frowned. "Round Two it is then." He shunpoed in front of DEA and attempted to throw a punch. DEA dodged it, and threw some at his gut. Aizen flinched a little bit. "Since that was two punches, you get two back." Throwing a nasty left hook, DEA fell down and as Aizen was going for the next hit, one person caught his punch.

"Hey girl, you know, you drive me crazy; one look puts the rhythm in my hand... Still I'll never understand why you hang around; [because] I see what's goin' down. Cover up with make up in the mirror; Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again;  
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you," Seemingly speaking to DEA, the receiver of his message changed to Aizen. "Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end, as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found."

*back at DEA*

"A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect, [and] every action in this world will bear a consequence, [so] if you wade around forever you will surely drown; [because] I see what's going down."

*back at Aizen*

"I see the way you go and say you're right again, say you're right again, [so] heed my lecture...

"Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end, as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

"Face down in the dirt she said, 'This doesn't hurt;' She said, 'I finally had enough';

Face down in the dirt she said, 'This doesn't hurt;' She said, 'I finally had enough'; One day she will tell you that she has had enough...It's coming round again...

"Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end, as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found

"Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well, I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end, as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found

"Face down in the dirt she says, 'This doesn't hurt'; She says, 'I finally had enough'."

Everyone ogled at who spoke.

"Mr. Hat 'N Clogs?" Ichigo confirmed.

Kisuke took a seat. "Now, Aizen, I suggest you heal the girl, seat back down and shut the hell up for your sake. If you don't, shit is going to get more real than the gods can imagine here, and not to help you either."

*cue the challenge "Ooh~"*

"Um, next dares are from **BrightWings111!"**

** "TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!" Renna screams, smacking DEA with a frying pan. "You kept us frozen in the MIDDLE of a CRISIS for MONTHS!"**

"...what the hell?" Drake wonders.

"Don't ask," Rin says. "You'll just make it worse."

"DO! YOUR! FUCKING! HOMEWORK!" Renna screams, whacking DEA on each word.

"OW! O! KAY! I! GET! THE! POINT! ALL! READY! I! WILL! DO! MY! HOME! WORK! CAN! YOU! STOP! HIT! ING! ME! ALL! READY! I'M! DAMAGED! ENOUGH! AS! IT! IS! FROM! AI! ZEN!"

**"Alright, that's enough," Rin sighs, dragging Renna off of DEA. "If you hurt her too much, you'll be frozen even longer."**

"...right..." Renna trails off. "Can someone throw out all of Aizen's tea and burn every chess board in the country? That's a dare."

"The bleaching getting to ya?" Drake asks.

"SHUT UP!" Renna yells, whacking Drake.

The FMA(B) cast made themselves useful and destroyed all the tea and the chess boards in every way imaginable. And some that transcend even what we believe is possible.****

"Ignoring idiots..." Kayla mutters. "Ed, get a pet armadillo. Roy, you get one too."

"Gin, dye your hair green," Drake says. "And Aizen dye your clothes orange. No 'if's 'and's or 'but's about it."

Making more use of himself, Alphonse set out to accomplish the tasks at hand.****

"HOW DARE YOU!" Renna continues to scream at DEA.

"THAT'S IT!" Rin screeches. "All of my OCs are hereby BANNED from the studio!" She shoves her OCs out of the studio. She sighs in relief. "...I can't stand them."

DEA popped two aspirin. "The others can stay; just make sure Renna never returns."

"I can guarantee that-"

"No, Kaede. You're not going to kill Renna."

"Aww..."

"Next is **PurpledragoN1997."**

** Purple: Hi! Waz up?**

Brandi: *hugs Yuzu and sits down*

Belle: Awkward...

Purple: I know a lot of you were upset that I'm a Quincy. But! I'm way better than Pencil Boy over there. *glares*

Belle: Pencil...?

Purple: Can you do this, Quincy? *materializes three ninja stars and throws them at Uryuu. They land an inch from his face* Ha! I have a bow, and I'm an okay shot, but I prefer to do THIS! *throws stars and they land two inches away from Mustang* 

"That is pretty cool..." Kaede thought. "Okay, you'll go back to your old spot on my list."****

Brandi: Dare number 1: Mayuri, go die in a hole.

Belle: Dare two: Somebody burn Mayuri to the ground.

Brandi: Dare 3: Ichigo, kill Mayuri. Twice.

Belle: Dare 4: Mayuri-

Purple: Hold it, hold it, HOLD IT! Why are you two so obsessed with killing him all of a sudden?!

Brandi: Because I hate him.

"YOU CANNOT HATE MAYURI! THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE!" DEA blurted out. Everyone glared at her. "Okay, maybe not impossible, but you shouldn't."****

Belle: OMG! Yeah! We read this fanfic where he poisoned and killed Yamamoto so he could be head captain! Then he turned Soul Society against Ichigo and Rukia...

Brandi: They were married at the time. And Rukia was pregnant.

Belle:...then, when Rukia was about to have the baby, they tried to kidnap her but Ichigo kicked their asses...

Purple: YEAH!

Belle:...but they kidnapped both of them and one of the babies...

Brandi: She had twins, except they didn't know that. Kon and Isshin took care of the baby girl.

Belle:...then Mayuri started preforming experiments on the baby, and tortured it, and turned it into an arrancar, but Renji, Byakuya, Ikkaku, Rangiku, Toshiro, and Shinji rebelled and got Rukia and the baby out while Ichigo fought Mayuri!

Brandi: You said all that in one breath.

Belle: But, Ichigo dropped his sword and Mayuri was about to kill him.

Purple: This is the best part! Rukia picks up Ichigo's Oversized Kitchen Knife and chops off Mayuri's head!

Brandi: In the end, Grimmjow taught their little boy how to fight, since he was an arrancar.

Purple: So that's why you hate Mayuri.

"Someone seriously has to tell me the name of that story so I can delete it." Kurotsuchi thought.****

Purple: We gotta go. You guys used up all my space! *glares* Alley oop!

"Alley oop!"

"Next up is **SakuraKiss444!"**

** Hey! In my Paging Grimmjow dare it was supposed to say "me" not "my", but I like how you interpreted what I said. :)**

"Thank you."

** 1) Berry-kun! Just ONE MORE CHAPTER of bark-swearing! Shit shit shit! **

(The barking is implied; with the amount of swearing that's in here that would take way too much time.)

**2) Everybody else, please abuse the fact in number one to the point where Ichigo wishes he WAS a dog. *evil grin***

Everyone began swearing their heads off, and Ichigo eventually curled up (like a dog) in the emo corner and cried himself to sleep.

**3) Mayuri, here is my prescription, I need that Writer's Block potion NOW.**

Mayuri handed over the potion.

**4) PAGING GRIMMKITTY! *throws brick* Man, you think you'd get fucking *BARK* tired of that shit, *BARK* but no, no you don't. **

Grimmjow caught the brick in his hand and crushed it into dust. "Actually, that's extremely freaking annoying," he sighed. "And I think I would prefer it if you stopped that shit."

**5) Oh yeah! Kitty costumes for the Espada/Arrancar! You can put it next to the picture of them in maid outfits, Kaede-chan!**

"Does that include Aizen, Gin and Tosen?"

Chiharu nodded.

"Epic. Aizen, you're a black cat."

*photo*

"Aww, it looks so nice."

**6) I dare everybody from/formerly from Soul Society (that also includes Ichigo) to Caramelldance or however it's spelled. **

** ***Carmelldansen. It's 'to do the Carmelldansen'.

**7) I dare Kaede and Grimmkitty to take a video and put it on YouTube. :D**

"Already posted."

**Hmm... I guess that's all my limited creativity will allow me to think of right now, so bye! *Gin exit* -Chiharu**

"Laters!"

"Last up is **Maruki Shitoichi!"**

Maru: *running to the room* *slipped* *gets up and grins* WHAZZUP PEEPS!?

Natsumi: *sighs* Language, Maru.

Maru: *ignores Natsumi* Hi ya, DEA-san, Kaede-san, Rin-san, Tyco-san, and last but not least, Elmo-san!

Natsumi: And we are SO sorry for NOT reviewing on the last chapter. School, and stuff.

Maru: Yea! And we're moving forward to the list!

1) Rukia- I feel the same when someone wants me to sing that song. I say NO to Korea! (No offence to Korean Lovers.)  
"That was me, RIN," Rin pointed to herself. "Not Rukia. I'm the one who felt like a retarded penguin."

**2) Mustang, Ed- Drinking. Contest. Now.**

Surprisingly, Mustang was the first one to fall off the barstool.

"You just got pwned, old man." Ed slurred.****

3) Ichigo- Just askin', why does Rukia and Orihime hates you? I thought the 'like' you.

"Allow me to explain," Elmo said. "Here, OOC is kind of implied. In the actual series of Bleach, they don't hate Ichigo, but here, everyone's an Ichigo hater."****

4) Ed- Hi ya again Pipsqueak! *grins* I've got a present for ya! *gives Ed a small sized box*

*pops out a red haired chibi wearing a maid outfit from the box*

"ITALY!"****

Maru: May I present to you! Chibitalia from Hetalia! And Eddie, HE is NOT a girl, he's a boy okay. Just because he's small and cute, *cough*an uke*cough*, doesn't mean he's a girl.

Maru: Right, the point is, Chibi N. Italy will be your maid for a 3 chapters, and I can't believe someone is ACTUALLY shorter than you. Just sayin'.

Maru: Oh and don't forget to give him pasta, artsy stuff, and Italian stuff, from time to time, or he'll be sad. And I'll have to make you babysit him for the REST of your live.

Maru: Hey, Germany NEEDS the rest, okay. Being the chibi's baby-sitter is NOT an easy job.

"Meh." Ed sighed as he started making Italy some pasta.****

Natsumi: Done?

Maru: *nods* Yup! See ya later, minna!

Natsumi: Bye.

"Good bye!" The hosts waved as 'Away' by Breaking Benjamin played over the airwaves.

* * *

**A/N: Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa and Happy New Year to all. We survived the apocalypse. The song that Kisuke was going on with was "Face Down" by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. And yes, I specifically waited so I COULD do a Christmas/New Year's thing. Now, keep those reviews coming; I haven't forgotten about people!**

**And I found a guy who does great Bleach Manga reviews on Youtube: tekking101 is his name. Amazingly funny. You should watch. Not kidding.**


	9. Welcome to Our Xcution Special

In the studio of Paris we all adore...

*cricket chirp*

"Where's DEA with her normal rants?" Tyco asked himself aloud. Everyone was already gathered in the studio, except for Aizen, Ichigo and his friends, and the Fullbringers. "Normally she's here before even us."

"I'm a little concerned." Rin added.

"I'm not." Kaede deadpanned. "I think Creator's probably just going through a phase or something. Speaking of phases, where's Aizen?"

"I don't know."

"Why does no one know anything?!"

Elmo woke up from his sleep. "I think it may be because Bleach has officially dropped off the cliff when it comes to the legitimacy of what occurs now."

"Like what?" Tyco asked. "I haven't read past the Fullbringer arc."

"Yamamoto's dead, Izuru's half blown away, Byakuya almost died, the Quincies kick ass now, Grimmjow's not dead (and neither is Harribel), Kyouraku's a head captain, the Royal Guard showed up consisting of: a fat chef who when she cooks, she suddenly turns hot, an origami lady, a fat preacher, a guy who smokes weeds and a Jimi Hendrix ripoff, Ichigo's fighting weird monsters with no correlation to the plot, and the Spirit King's a ripoff of Aizen as a butterfly."

Tyco couldn't decide his reaction.

"Exactly my point." Elmo concluded.

"Now, Unohanna was apparently the first Kenpachi, and her and Kenpachi Zaraki are fighting down in Muken." Kaede joined in.

"Wait, did you say...?" Rin trailed off.

"Yes, where Aizen is still being held. That Muken."

"Why still?" This was all very confusing for Tyco (which is why you people should read the new chapters if you don't).  
"Because the Quincies went in and blew it up."

"Oh..."

"The Quincy leader visited him too. But didn't let him go."

"..."

"You're lost, aren't you?"  
Tyco paused before nodding his head.

"That's why you're the labor monkey."

"Why?"

"Because you couldn't find where to sign elsewhere."

"That's mean." :P

"Life's mean. Deal with it."

Yelling could be heard from the corridor leading to the main studio.

"What do you mean you don't like me anymore?!" Clearly Aizen speaking.

"WHAT?! I HAVE TO DEAL WITH HER?!" A voice, unknown to the others.  
"Great...she messes up everything..." Another enigmatic being spoke.

"I don't!" A female shot back.

"Yes you do!" The first person replied.

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!" The second person echoed.

"No I don't!" In the rage this person unleashed, Aizen came flying through the door as if kicked and landed in the wall opposite the corridor. "Sorry Aizen!" The person replied before continuing to argue with the other two mysterious figures.

Kaede ran over to Aizen's side. "Ya okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

"So what in your name is going on?!"

"I'm not #1 anymore." The entire area fell silent. Except for the three figures still arguing in the outside hall. They were still noisy as hell.

Five figures entered the room. Unfortunately, they weren't the people everyone wanted to see. In came Riruka, Yukio, Jackie, Giriko and Moe.

"She won't shut up!" Riruka complained.

"And she keeps bothering Tsukishima-san!" Moe added.

"I think she's giving Ginjo a massive migraine as well..." Giriko said.

"And I think you just answered our questions." Elmo remarked. "Alright, who's gonna tame the beast?"

Everyone pointed fingers at Aizen.

"He already tried that. Someone else."

Everyone pointed then to Tyco.  
Kaede grinned. "Told ya, you're the labor monkey."

"Damn you all..." Tyco muttered as he walked through the doorway to his demise...

Or so they thought.

"She's unconscious!"

Everyone gasped. Who could have done this?

"And now either Ginjo or Tsukishima is number one." He dragged the other two out. "Come on, you get no special privileges; you still have to partake in the show."

"You're gonna thank us later for that." Ginjo commented.

"We probably will. But for now, that was uncalled for."

"I don't know," Tsukishima thought. "I think that was completely called for, considering she kicked a guy through a wall."

"It's Aizen; he'll survive anything. And I mean ANYTHING." Tyco plopped the two down in seats and returned to the main floor. "There. That's taken care of."  
"I'm surprised." Elmo remarked. "You two subdued her in record time."

"It's really easy." Tsukishima replied. "I read it in a book."

"Of course you did." Kaede facepalmed. "Tyco, grab DEA while you're at it."

Tyco reentered the corridor...and this time, suffered his demise. He came flying out, in Aizen fashion, and crashed into Elmo.

"Ow, that was my eye."

"Sorry, man. Not my fault."

DEA came running out, with anime chibi hearts as eyes. "Where is he~?"

"Where's w-" Rin's mouth was covered by Kaede's hand.

"I'm gonna make some money here." She turned to the audience. "Now, who here thinks that she's looking for Ginjo?" Everyone except Ginjo raised their hand. "My money's on Tsukishima. So if I win, you all pay me $20 bucks."

DEA continued to scan the audience before suddenly disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"I'm starting to think we're not gonna find out..." Rin moped.

"And I'm starting to think I'm filthy stinking rich." Kaede pointed to DEA, who had apparently teleported onto Tsukishima's back. "Pay up, infidels!"

"This is not a Jeff Dunham show."

"Too bad." A box was passed around where people dropped their $20 in. "Now do I know my Creator or what?"

"But my question is how could you guess?" Elmo pondered. "I know she usually likes the bad guys more-"  
"Oi!" DEA interrupted as she appeared on the main stage. "That's not fully true. Although evil is more appealing usually, as one can see with FMA(B), this isn't always the case. I like intelligence, strength, epicness, decent appearance and humor. That's why Kisuke's second, not Aizen. He's third now. Tsukishima is first because he's freaking hot, he's smart, he's evil, he's amoral, he's kickass, he made Ichigo have a mental breakdown and he makes reading look epic. All while looking hot."

"That's why I like Byakuya. He kicked Tsukishima's ass. :)"

"Shut up Rin."

"Can we get on with the show already?" The casts complained.

(Seriously, this is the bottom of the third page. I didn't mean to draw it out this far, but I got carried away with all the possible ideas that I could throw in...Gomenasai...)

"Yes, yes we can!" DEA ran over to the jukebox (Because people totally still use those) and "Step To Me" by Thousand Foot Krutch began over the loudspeakers. "This, finally, is 'When Worlds Collide'!"

"About damn time..." Kaede muttered.  
"So, I celebrated Valentine's Day...well, actually, I didn't. I got food poisoning and spent the day single, sick and feeling like shit. We also apparently survived the apocalypse and a giant-ass meteor crashed in Russia." DEA looked over her chart of events that passed in between shows. "Oh, and Barack Obama won re-election for President of the United States. And before we begin the show, we'd also like to send our prayers out to the families who lost children at the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting in Newton, Connecticut. Our hearts are always with those lost."

"Off depressing topics, we also have a potentially shorter show today, mainly because we only got three reviews. C'mon people, REVIEW! And make it interesting! Not that the ones we have aren't, just keep that in mind...Who's first, Tyco?"

"First up is **PurpledragoN1997!**"

**Purple: Holy Guacamole!**

**Kevin: What's wrong?!**

**Purple: I haven't introduced Kevin!**

**Kevin: *blink***

"Oh God no." Kaede facepalmed. "Here we go again..."

**Purple: Yeah, I got bored with Belle and Brandi. Soooooo, meet Kevin! The boy with the chainsaw!**

**Kevin: Yeah! And I'm not afraid to...! *sees Kaede* Yipes! *hides under table***

"Yeah, boy, cower in fear!" Kaede hopped up on the table where Kevin was hiding.

**Purple: Words to describe Kevin: Gullible, whiney, annoying, weird...**

**Kevin: Meanies.**

**Purple: Dare 1! Nnoitora, be nice. Period.**

**Kevin: Is that possible?**

"Yes it is." Rin eyed Nnoritora. "Isn't that right, Nnoritora?"

**Purple: Dare 2. Kenpachi, comb your hair.**

**Kevin: Ow.**

"Anyone have water?" Kenpachi asked. Yachiru quickly supplied him with a bucket, and he rinsed out the hair gel and combed out his hair. "There. Straight."

**Purple: Dare 3. *pulls a disk out of her pocket* Whoever watches Beyblade: Metal Fury, we are fighting! Kevin, make an arena!**

"Aww, I thought I escaped that stupidity!" DEA whined.

Tsukishima gave her a pity pat as she moped. "There, there."

"Shukuro Tsukishima, stop being a Sheldon."

A light bulb went off over Tyco's head. He stood up from his chair, only to hit the light bulb and cause it to break into pieces and get stuck in his face. After he picked the pieces of glass out of his face (whilst everyone laughing), he finally stated his idea. "I just realized that Tsukishima's name is a tonguetwister. Try saying 'Shukuro Tsukishima' five times fast." (Seriously, for the folks at home, try it!)

**Kevin: You got it, boss! *shoves chainsaw into the ground* Go! Chain Tornado! **

**-huge tornado makes a large pit-**

**Purple: Go, Fangzara! *flings disk***

**Kevin: Go, DragoZine! *flings disk***

**Kianda: *suddenly appears* Whoever is thinking 'WTH is Beyblade' is probably more intelligent than these two. *disappears***

**-after fight-**

**Purple: Aizen, I don't like you right now! You smacked my friend! Soooooo... *throws two ninja stars at him***

**Kevin: But, boss? You hit your friends!**

**Purple: Dang! Missed!**

**Kevin: Boss, have you seen my chainsaw?**

**Purple: Get the freakin' chainsaw and come on! I've gotta go listen to Miku Hatsune!**

**Kevin: Must you have a specific time to do all that.**

**Purple: Yes. Hey! Just so ya' ll know, I got over 7000 points in Just Dance 4!**

**Kevin: Big whoop. Let's go.**

**Purple: And I was forced to listen to One Thing by 1D! I thought I was gonna die! coughcoughfruitcakescoughidi otscough.**

**Kevin: Can we leave now, boss?**

**Purple: But it's Shout a Random Fact time!**

**Kevin: Okay. Purple has a crush on Kenpachi.**

**Purple: WE ARE LEAVING! ALLEY OOP!**

**Kevin: Ow! Ow! Boss, my ears!**

"Maybe shout a random fact time wasn't a great idea on Purple's part." Elmo remarked.

"Kenpachi? Really?" Rin asked herself. "Anyway, who's next?"  
"Next is **VentusZyphyria!**"

**Hay, me and my band of misfit weird guys are back!**

**Asta: boss, we are not misfits or weird**

**Me: Asta, you're a psychopath and a killer who is also part of somebody else. I think that's weird enough.**

**Asta: point taken**

**Me: well anyways, happy new year everyone. Nusakan and the others seem to be on some kind of trip in one of my imaginary worlds, so they're not here. Nusa asked Asta to stay and say hi to everyone and communicate their dares. I think they're giving me a week of no-commentary-from-people-with-no-body.**

**Asta: the boss is right. Well, I'm here to pass on the dares, but it has to be quick. Ya see, I'm sort of gonna teach little Pleiades how to torture. So I gotta run. First, a rage. Against apple. The boss is also pretty angry. It seems autocorrect corrected a mistake he had while writing 'thousand' into three in the past post. So DAMN YOU APPLE! AND DAMN YOU QUINCIES! CAN I KILL URYU?!**

"Yes, yes you may. Pitchforks and matches will be supplied."

**Me: Asta, you're getting out of topic**

**Asta: FUCK. The dares, the dares. Well, Nusakan said that every girl that feels like a guy hasn't noticed their feelings should hit said guy in the head with a frying pan repeatedly. So that's that.**

Yeah, we can tell this was directed at Ichigo. But, Aizen got a good whack from Momo as well.

**Ple also dares Aizen not to say god, deity or any synonym of it for three chapters. And gin can't smile or grin or anything for said time, he has to be completely serious. Also, ed can't rage, fight or insult anyone who calls him short for three chapters.**

Aizen replied with a simple, "I can deal with that."

Gin frowned at the dare, or at least, that's what we think; he hasn't gone back to smiling because of the dare, so we can't tell. Ed struggled to maintain his cool, so a strait jacket was placed on him and he was thrown in a happy place...

*The Milk Room*

"AHH! I'M GONNA LOSE IT IN HERE!"

"Did you hear something, Winry?"

"No, Al. Why?"

"No reason."

**And mine is that the hosts choose two characters they would love to see fight, and they fight with baseball bats, no alchemy or kidou or zanpakuto or god mode or anything. The winner gets to do something gruesome and bloody to the loser. PREFERABLY SOMETHING LIKE RIPPING AN ARM OFF AND POURING ACID ON THE WOUND! AND GIVE ME THE ARM! I COLLECT ARMS!**

"That's not at all disturbing in any way, shape or form." Elmo rolled his eyes.

"Since it's my show, I wanna see Tsukishima fight Aizen." DEA announced.

"Confiscation!" Kaede beamed as she stole Kyouka Suigetsu and Book of the End and replaced them with standard swords. "All weapons will be returned at the end of the match. This is a fight to the death, however all deaths and injuries will be erased by Creator's remote at the end of the match. No Fullbrings or Shinigami abilities allowed. Hogyoukus are prohibited and will automatically result in the user forfeiting the tournament. Now, BEGIN!" The main floor changed into a fighting ground similar to one of the gyms from the Pokémon series.

{***********************=^.^=***********************}

While the fight was long and strenuous, one man emerged victorious, broken and bloodied while the other lay dead where he fought. Kaede grabbed a hand out of the dust and broadcasted, "The winner is Shukuro Tsukishima! But not by much..."

Creator pulled out her remote that was given to her (Shoutout to **DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympian s**; you're one awesome friend!) and pushed the green button. Aizen was healed and brought back to life, as was Tsukishima. "Alright Shukuro, what are you gonna do to Aizen?"

"I need a pair of scissors and my Book of the End back." Kaede handed him back his sword.

"What about mine?" Aizen whined.

"Not yet."

"Aww..."

"Now," Tsukishima started smiling. "Let the fun begin." First, he stabbed Aizen with a normal cut just for fun, then he stabbed him again and inserted so many things in Aizen's past that it made Aizen 'useless', and then he cut Aizen's hair clean off.

Kaede gave a big whistle. "You are OFFICIALLY one HELL of an asshole." And gave Tsukishima a high five before he sat back down. "I could get used to this guy."

Tyco and Rin facepalmed, and if Elmo could, he probably would've.

"However, you forgot to chop off his arm and give it to Asta." So Kaede went and did that. And poured a little acid in for good measure. Then handed it to Asta. "You have God's arm. You're welcome."

**Me: Asta, can you please try not to go full psycho right now?**

**Asta: No can do *grins***

**Me: *sigh* well, that's that. Happy New Year, hablamos**

"See ya!" The hosts waved goodbye.

"Last but not least on the program is **SakuraKiss444!**"

**Heyyyyyyyy! *waves and throws brick* So, current issue with my life! My brother's birthday is January 21st and I have been tasked with writing him something for his birthday but he's forcing me to write him a goddamn CHAPTER fic! Not my style at all. I have like seven chapters written though. **

"I'm sure your brother will like it!"

**1) Mayuri-Taicho, thanks for the potion, I'll take another few to save for later *hands prescription***

"Just don't overdose on these." Mayuri begrudgingly handed over four more vials. "They'll do the same thing to you that the man did to Aizen earlier. And I don't think you can write like that."

**2) Ichigo, YOU'RE FREE! You no longer have to bark-swear!**

"YES! FUCK YOU WORLD! I'm FREE! WOOOOO!"

"I think he's lost it, Dad."

"Relax, Karin."

**3) Since I enjoyed the outcome of Hitsugaya and Matsumoto switching personalities, every Captain and Lieutenant have to change personalities for the chapter! **

(You get the idea, people.)

**4) Aizen, KILL YOURSELF. What kind of IDIOT hurts girls?! **

"Lots of people do, actually. Grimmjow did too. As did Kenpachi. And Tsukishima. And Renji. Must I continue?"

"Nope." Rin said, as she bludgeoned him to death with a cast iron skillet.

**5) Grimmjow, would you like to sing Had Enough by Breaking Benjamin? Well, I don't care. Sing it anyway, damn it. **

(God I hate rules...)

**That's it for today! *Gin exit* Byeeeeeeee! –Chiharu**

"And that means it's time for us to sign out." DEA concluded. "This has been 'When Worlds Collide'; see ya next time! And REVIEW PLEASE!" Everyone waved goodbye as "Wake Up" by Three Days Grace played over the loudspeakers.

FIN OF NINE

* * *

**A/N: Yep, I'm here. Still. I don't die, people. But you don't review, and I might die. So review! With dares! And context! And I also like to see people put themselves in, so don't be afraid of a script format review! **

**~Devil'sEyeAlchemist13**


	10. The Troll Chapter: This Means Work For

In the French studio we all know and love...

"Are you serious? Are. You. FUCKING. SERIOUS?!"

"Yes, Creator? Is there a reason to wake me up? It's the day after Easter." Elmo yawned.

"One review."

"Huh?"

"ONE FLIPPIN' REVIEW! That's IT! What are people doing?!"

"Trying to get you to come up with more stuff on your own."

"And what if I don't want to?"

"Then you have no show."

Behind the bleachers where the audience sat, three signs on sticks popped up. The one in the middle was a simple troll face, the one on the right read: "Problem?", and the other read "U mad bro?"

"Hey! Get out here you three! And stop mocking my pain with troll faces! You'll be as bad as Kubo with that!"

The three laughed as they put their signs down. "Kaede, the troll signs were brilliant!"

"You're only saying that because I gave you the face, Tyco."

"Why did I get stuck with one word?!" Rin whined.

"Because I wanted this one and Tyco wanted the face."

DEA sighed as she closed her laptop. "Guys, no show today. We have one flippin' review, so I'll wait until we get more." (%)

**A/N: See, just because I'm not around doesn't mean you can slack off. Then, you don't get a show. So come, come and review, because I know you all want a show. Otherwise, I won't do this. This show is nothing without your reviews.**


End file.
